Dietfried's Letter

Three Days

Hilary Baugainvillea knew the Baugainvillea family ship The Lux was haunted from the time he was very young, but it never truly bothered him much. He supposed most old ships that had seen battle before being renovated for the leisure time of civilians were bound to have something of a spirit attached to it. It only stood to reason.
Hilary actually liked the idea of a haunt being onboard The Lux. In the three days it took to get from Ecarte Island to Leiden, whenever he was between reading a storybook in his bunk and drifting off to sleep, he would sometimes imagine he could see a haunt just before it slipped away into the shadows. I'll catch you next time, he'd think, as his lids would shut and refuse to open again, until the next morning.
Hilary did actually see one the year he turned 13 years old. By this time, however, he was no longer trying to catch them. His uncle Dietfried had him up on deck quickly hoisting some sails, and tying down others as an older hired cadet steered the vessel. It was a never ending balancing act on a floor that never stopped moving.
By the time he did fall into his bunk for a few precious hours of rest, dawn's early light would be peeking over the far horizon. That was when he saw it or imagined it in the far corner shrouded in shadow behind a stream of morning sunshine.
           "I see you. . ." Hilary mumbled drowsily, trying and failing to focus on the shape that seemed to be floating. Then he fell asleep, convinced he was dreaming.
           It was weeks later after sailing home for holiday when the apparition showed itself once again, and much more substantially.  This time he was not on the verge of sleep, but actually lounging on calm, late afternoon waters.
        The first day out from Leiden was always much smoother than sailing from Ecarte.  It made more  free time for all.  Jack, the older cadet steering the boat liked to sing all the pub songs he had picked up in Leiden.
Hilary knew a great many pub songs himself from family friend, Claudia Hodgins, whose family in Leiden always invited Hilary into their home whenever he was away from the academy.
        Hilary sighed as Jack decided on a ballad pub song in minor key about lost love.
Gods, Jack, why that one? Hilary thought, miserably, flinging an arm over his face, hiding his eyes in the crook of his arm.  It hit a little too close to the home of his heart at the moment.
          His last visit to the Hodgins' home was lovingly welcome as usual, with a hearty pat on the back from Claudia and tight hugs from his wife Cattleya and young son Randell.  The hugs used to include those from their daughter, Ellenora, but over the past couple of years, she would simply smile her wondrously beautiful smile and give him a polite greeting. 
          This was proper, of course. Neither of them were children any longer. Hilary had finally bestest her in height and his voice had deepened. Her voice had become, not so much deeper as much as it had become more substantially firm. . .and musical to his ear.  And then there were the soft curves of her body. . He tried not to think too much about that, but at times it was just no use. 
         They still spent a good bit of time talking, whether it was about school, the latest plays at the theater, or the recent novels they had read.   All things between them had relatively stayed the same, except the fact that Hilary knew he was in love with her. 
          He had made plans to even say so during his last visit, but Ellenora was. . .different, somehow.  She still acted politely toward him, but when she did not think he was looking at her, she seemed aloof and her brow took on a slightly troubled furrow. 
         It was as if she had lost something she so dearly wished to find.  She had also made an austere bedroom for herself in their spacious attic. She claimed she needed the large windows to see the stars every night, for she had become extremely interested in astronomy of late. This, Hilary actually found to be an advantage. It was yet another subject Ellenora and he could discuss at length. The outlook of being together was promising.
          Although the timing felt awkward, given Ellenora's recent odd behavior, Hilary, knowing he would not be seeing her again for a very long time, confessed his feelings.  Ellenora did not laugh, nor belittle him in any way. She smiled and thanked him for his friendship, and hoped it remained strong, but she did not feel any deeper feelings for him than that. 
           Hilary was strangely enough not surprised, but the rejection still hurt, of course.  As his shimmering hope for his future with Ellenora faded, the void of loneliness grew, making him physically ache.
           His uncle Dietfried took one look at Hilary as he came onboard The Lux and shook his head, and clicked his tongue. "I see your visit to the Hodgins home was not to your satisfaction."
           Hilary was in no mood to deny it, only for it to lead to a debate, and sulkily shook his head.
            Dietfried chuckled, and squeezed Hilary's shoulder. "Well, careful not to be too glum, my boy. You know what a forlorn heart will bring to a  man out to sea."
            "No. What?" Hilary asked, in a disinterested tone.
              "Why, a faigrin, of course!"
              "Hmm. Of course." Hilary grunted, getting straight to work to set sail.
It was not out of the ordinary for Uncle Dietfried to delight in myth and superstition as nothing more than to tease a gullible child. It was one of the main reasons Hilary hunted for haunts in the first place, as well as enjoyed his uncle's company. . .but not at this moment. 
He only wished to be left alone to wallow in his self pity for the next three days. And after those days were over, he'd be home again, ready to let the healing begin. But for now, he would let the dark consume him. It was all part of the process of heartbreak.
The rocking of the boat lulled Hilary into a very relaxed state of mind. Jack's sad ballad no longer had words, but Hilary could still hear the tune being hummed softly . . but it was not Jack humming.
Hilary propped himself up on his elbows to listen closer, for the humming was very faint. He then spied the fingers clinging to the edge of the boat. No one else heard, nor saw this. Jack was too far away and certainly not paying attention. Uncle Dietfried was in the hull corresponding to numerous letters.
Hilary crept closer to the edge of the boat, keeping his eyes on the mud colored wet fingers. But were they fingers? As he approached they more resembled webbed stubs and there were only three of them. Before his eyes, however, they were slowly transforming into actual slender fingers and being joined by a fourth, and the beginning of a fifth.
Hilary was just nearly to the boat's edge, when a gurgling, whispering voice halted him.
"No! Not yet. Soon, Young Baugainvillea. To look upon me now could be your death."
Hilary quickly leaned away and averted his eyes. "Why?" he asked quietly.
"Young humans are tasty while in my natural form, but soon, my form shall be as yours. Soon. . . soon you can look at me and be safe from my jaws."
The voice was less gurgled and sounding familiar. It sounded musical. . .
The hand on the side of the boat was now fully formed and it was joined by another.
"You may look upon me now, Baugainvillea. My appetite for young human flesh has abated."
Hilary slowly leaned over the side and looked into the face of Ellenora Baudelaire-Hodgins. Her eyes were not exactly the same color of Ellenora's but all other features he could see were identical, the hair, the face, that incrediable smile.
Hilary's mouth fell open. "Ellenora?" he said in disbelief.
"Only her form, as I have told you."
"But, how?"
"I know your thoughts and desires."
Hilary cast down his eyes and felt his face burn. "Oh."
"There is no reason for shame, Baugainvillea. Your desire feeds me."
"I thought you said my flesh fed you."
"Your desire for this human feeds me and keeps me in this form, ensuring your safety."
"Ah. Are you a. . ." Hilary concentrated to recall the name of the creature Dietfried spoke of. "Faigrin?"
The creature frowned, but only for an instant. "And where did you hear that word?"
"My uncle." Hilary answered.
"Ah, yes. That Baugainvillea, your father's brother."
"What of him?" Hilary asked, a bit concerned.
"He is a very damaged human."
Hilary grinned. Everyone knew that about Dietfried Baugainvillea. It was no secret.
"Your expression suggests that you are humored. You know nothing of that Baugainvillea. Desire can run both ways. The desire of hate is just as strong, if not stronger, than the desire of love. That Baugainvillea's hate was extremely strong."
Hilary knew of his father and uncle's military past. He felt quite sure soldiers could be as haunted with unclean spirits as old battle ships.
The creature must have read his thoughts and said again. "You know nothing of that Baugainvillea."
"Oi! Hilz!" Jack called, "Up and at it, sonny! Sails up! Starboard bow!"
Hilary looked down longingly at the creature, the most lovely of visions. It smiled up at him as it lowered itself back into the water, up to the chin.
"Let us not waste these hours on the likes of that Baugainvillea. Desire me. Feed me with your thoughts of your Ellenora." The creature then slipped out of sight beneath the surface of the water.
           Anybody with a mere drop of reason would have known to not obey a creature who could devour you upon sight.  Anybody, that is, but a lovesick 13 year old boy who was drained of all rationale.
Only three days. . . Why can't I have and love her for three more days? Hilary thought helplessly as he began hoisting sails.  And after three days, I will let go. . .
To avoid any more suspicion from his uncle and even Jack, Hilary joined in conversation at mealtime, but his thoughts were never too far from the creature in its Ellenora form and could hardly wait until her could see it again. 
            Hilary saw it again that very evening when he sensed something crouching beside his bunk.  He woke with a start to a dripping wet Ellenora. Her skin was a sickly pale and her wet hair and her arms wrapped around her crouching body covered her nakedness.
            "What? What are you doing?" Hilary whispered, trying to keep his voice down.
             "I was starving.  I needed to be near you." it said, its teeth beginning to chatter. 
            Hilary hopped out of his bunk, quickly grabbing one of his nightshirts for her to wear. He turned away so that it could slip into the long shirt. When Hilary turned back around, he could tell, even in the lowest of light, its color was a lot less pale and its hair was completely dry and flowing.
It stepped toward him, and Hilary began to feel nervous, and tried not to cower, as it approached.
"Have you ever even touched a girl's body before, young Baugainvillea?"
"Uh, touched?"
"Yes, have you ever held a girl against you. Kissed her mouth."
Hilary shook his head, not looking at it.
"Here's your chance, darling." it purred, as it snaked its arms around his neck and laid its lips on his cheek.
You are not Ellenora, he reminded himself. Ellenora does not act this way. I do not want her to act this way. And yet, he did. He found his hypocrisy offensive, but not enough to not let the creature press its Ellenora replica form against him.
"Feel free to do more to me." it said, taking a seat on his narrow bunk.
Hilary froze. He was not ignorant of the world of sexual contact. No boarding school boy arrived to age 13 and not know in one way or another. But knowing and participating in it with at least an image of the one you love suddenly felt oceans apart. Oceans wide enough for Hilary to hesitate before crossing.
The creature was reaching for him, but before Hilary ultimately kissed its mouth, he stopped.
"What's wrong, young Baugainvillea? Don't you find me most beautiful?"
"Yes." Hilary answered, honestly.
"Do you not dream of having me?"
"I do." Hilary confessed.
"Have me."
"But. ."
"I am starving." It leaned closer.
Hilary could then smell its breath, the cool fresh scent of the ocean he was born to love. But there was also that very slight scent of danger in the form of that which sinks to the ocean's bottom, devoid of life and left to rot. It was enough to make him hesitate again, and it apparently angered the creature. It hissed in irritation.
And then there was a low knock at the door. Hilary jumped at the sound and the creature snapped its head toward the door and hissed again.
"Hilz! Time to get up and navigate around the Pagros Strait."
They had made good timing. It was usually nearly midday on the second day at sea before they reached the Pagros Strait. They would certainly need to rely upon the three coastal lighthouses to guide them through the narrow strait, the lighthouses and able bodied experienced sailors.
Hilary immediately started changing out of his nightshirt. The creature said nothing, but in a flash slipped beneath his bed. Hilary knelt down and peered into the darkness where the creature hid. It looked back at him with reflective sea foam green eyes.
"I don't think I can do this."
The eyes blinked. "You no longer desire this Ellenora?"
Hilary opened his mouth to lie but then closed it again. He could never say that.
The creature giggled lightly. "That's good, young Baugainvillea. For if I become too hungry in this form, there will be no choice but to change to my true form and devour you whole."
The door then came open and it was his uncle standing in the threshold. Hilary heard a low hiss from the creature beneath his bed as he grabbed his boots.
"Thought you might have drifted back to sleep, boy!" Dietfried bellowed.
"No, Uncle," Hilary promised, slipping on his boots in a couple of quick hops and following Dietfried up onto the ship's deck.
With Dietfried at the wheel and both Hilary and Jack working the sails, they painstakingly navigated the narrow strait of the Pagros in the dead of night. With the strait behind them, The Lux could sail its second day at sea in calm waters.
"A couple of close calls," Dietfried admitted, striking a match to light his long stem clay pipe. "But overall, a successful sail through that gods-forsaken strait, yet again."
"Then why sail through it, Uncle?" Hilary wanted to know. "The steamship goes around it to the north, and it adds only a couple of hours.
"Eh," Dietfried grunted, puffing his pipe, "Testing my navigation skills. Still up to par, I'd say! And if I should ever wreck this old whore of a ship one day taking that strait, then so be it. It will finally be out of my hair!" And with that his uncle dramatically swooped his long plaited hair off his shoulder.
Hilary would usually laugh at his eccentric uncle's comments and mannerisms, but today, he merely grinned as he turned his attention to tying down ropes.
"So. . .is it rejection that has you down, boy?" Dietfried asked sympathetically, after watching him a moment. "There's no shame in telling the truth, and no use in lying."
Hilary looked at him not knowing where to begin. The forever heartache for Ellenora Baudelaire-Hodgins or the fact that there is, indeed, a creature beneath his bed threatening to devour him, one way or another?
"Um. . .you spoke of a faigrin." Hilary replied.
Dietfried's eyes narrowed. "Yes," he answered around his pipe.
Hilary shrugged. "Just wondering what it was."
Dietfried removed his pipe. "What have you let onboard this boat, boy?" he asked in a tone that made Hilary's blood run cold.
"I. . . I don't know. ."
"Where is it?"
"I-it crawled beneath my bed." Saying it aloud finally brought home to Hilary the true horror of it all, and shivered.
Dietfried took hold of Hilary's shoulders and stared at him in the eye. "Is it in the form of Ellenora?"
Hilary paused then nodded miserably.
"Did you. . ." Dietfried squeezed his shoulders a bit harder, "Did you have relations with it?"
Hilary's eyes widened. "No!" he cried incredulously.
Dietfried nodded and let him go. "Good. . ." he replied with a sigh of relief, "Good."
"Why? What would have happened?"
"There would have been nothing left of you. It's a creature that preys on strong emotion and the vulnerability it brings. It shifts its shape to suit your desire." Dietfried explained, turning to go to Hilary's sleeping quarters.
"It called you by name, Uncle," said Hilary arriving at the closed door.
"Yes. . . And it just almost destroyed me. . . not only once, but twice." Dietfried replied, he lay his ear against the door and listened. He then looked at Hilary and whispered, "Now, from what I can hear in there, it is in its true form. I need you to think some sugary thoughts about your sweet Ellenora. It'll change it back. Do it!"
Hilary concentrated and found that his sweetest thoughts he ever had of Ellenora was merely being with her, talking and laughing at each other's anecdotes since their last meeting.
"Young Baugainvillea?" said Ellenora's voice behind the door. "Is it you? I am so very hungry. . . Please come in and feed me!" Hilary could hear it begin to sob.
"Your thoughts will distract it enough to stay in Ellenora's form. Keep thinking those thoughts, boy, or we are both finished."
Hilary nodded, slid open the door and stepped in to find the creature on his bed. It was completely naked and covered only to the waist with a thin summer quilt. The sight of completely naked breasts, made Hilary stop in his tracks.
Ellenora's face looked back at him with Ellenora's smile. "Come to me, Hilary." it beckoned, pulling back the quilt to reveal its naked hips and legs. It lifted its right knee seductively.
"Alright, that's quite enough, you wretched beast." said Dietfried revealing himself to it.
Upon sight of him, the creature hissed and covered itself to the neck.
"Close your eyes, boy. Keep thinking your thoughts. Keep it in this form." Dietfried commanded. "No matter what, think of nothing else."
Hilary obeyed as he backed into a corner and even turned his face to it.
He tried to ignore that which was being said between the faigrin and his uncle. But some couldn't help to come through.
"Well, if it isn't that Baugainvillea." sneered the creature in Ellenora's voice, but Hilary could hear the slightest of gurgles in its throat.
Hilary squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on his fondest of memory of Ellenora, the one that would stay with him the rest of his life.
It was the last evening he was at the Hodgins home, and after supper Ellenora had taken him up to her new attic room. Through the four giant roof windows, the stars shined bright. She asked him about the lesser known constellations. They stayed there over a hour mapping them out in the night sky.
Oh, gods, how he loved her in that moment. He wanted to stay in it forever, just watching her profile in the moonlight of that final evening just before he opened his mouth and let it all spill out.
That is where he chose to stop the memory, rewind it and play it all over again.
From what he could hear, it seemed to help. The creature continued to speak in Ellenora's voice as it chided his uncle in ways Hilary could not understand.
"How very daft you are to think I would not come after you, Baugainvillea, after just nearly devouring you the last time! You owe me a good meal. Perhaps I'll just consume you both."
"Apologies, seawitch, we neither of us are on your menu. In your present form, you are no match for me."
"Yes, but what of the form you had chosen, Baugainvillea? Another young girl you loathed above all things. Oh how you wanted to see her dead at your feet! How you dreamed of it obsessively. If I could just shift back to. . . Oh! Does young Baugainvillea know??"
Hilary's concentration broke as he began to listen closer. He began to turn around.
"No, boy!" Dietfried growled, "Stay turned! Cover your ears! Concentrate! Keep it as Ellenora!"
Hilary stopped, and crouched in his corner, covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut again. Then the creature spoke.
"Hilary?"
He knew that voice. It was his mother's voice, only as a child. He heard the swish sound of a saber leaving a sheath.
That's not my mother. Think of Ellenora, think of your fantasy of marrying her and sailing the world with her, to fall asleep in her arms and to wake there, to hold your newborn children with her, to. . .to ultimately die with her when your life is finished. . .
A beast-like scream suddenly filled the small room, and Hilary felt something wet slap against his back. And then all was silent, except for his own heavy breathing.
He felt a strong hand on his shoulder.
"Alright, boy. It is done."
Hilary stood and turned to see the creature in its natural form, amphibian in its moist mud colored skin, its three-fingered webbed hands and feet, its bloated body. It's head was missing and laying against the far wall.

Hilary thought he might sick as the rotten stench of the creature reached his nostrils.
"Did I. . . Was I able to keep it in the form of Ellenora?"
"Yes," Dietfried answered, fishing out a handkerchief and pressing it to his nose to block the smell. "The only form in which to terminate the creature. In this form and alive, it proves too quick to escape. Come now. Breathing in such concentrated rot will surely render us insane."
Jack saw them coming up on the deck with Dietfried carrying a saber dripping with a black viscus goo, and Hilary's shirt covered with it on the back.
Jack's mouth fell open in shock. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL KNOWN LOVIN' GODS IN ALL THE WORLD AND ABOVE AND DOWN BELOW HAPPENED DOWN THERE??!!!
"A faigrin came onboard. We dispatched it."
"Ah. . . and what is that, pray tell?"
"We'll tell you later over some tea." Dietfried promised, grinning wearily at Hilary.