The Boy who I Loved Once

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"I thought I could love myself, but later on I just found out I hated myself even more" I read, My hands were shaking from the cold winter Morning, I dreaded this day, The day my heart was torn to pieces. A few days ago all I could do was watch, I watched as he hung there pale, cold, and still. He had a smile on his face when he went though. I thought I could save him, It hurt to realize he was gone. At the ER All I could do was sit and cry as I read the note he left.

"Hello, Or seeing that this is my goodbye I guess, I love you but I could never love myself enough to stay, I'm sorry I'm leaving you, but please go on without me, I'm not as important as you think I am. I'm gonna watch over you if possible, but I can only do so much when I'm dead, I love you and I'll always remember you and I know even after all we've been through, I'm sorry to leave you, But just know these 4 years of us together made me feel better, and believe me, I thought I could love myself but later on I found out I just Hated myself even more, You know you can never fully love someone until you love yourself, but I loved you with whatever love I had left and I hope it gets you farther then I did, and tell your younger sister to do well in school, not worry about loving someone, tell her to love herself no matter what, Tell your Father I loved the free boat rides and letting me sleepover when I had it rough, Tell your mother her food was amazing and tell yourself that you are worth it and I thank you for helping me live an extra 4 years, I'm sorry we never wet to college together, I'm sorry, but just know you meant the world to me, From the boy you fell in love with somehow, Azra. P.S I'll see you in Hell"

Today was his funeral I was speaking and reading the note, I Tried not to laugh at the last part but instead i broke down in tears "Man I just wish I could go Back"

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