The Forgotten [Larry Stylinson]

04

One night seemed calm, and Harry actually considered things becoming normal. But then the trailer door slammed and he smelt alcohol, and his hope sunk again.

-

Late one Friday night, two weeks into living with the Tomlinsons, Harry found himself up on the roof. Gemma was in one of the two beds in their room trying to sleep—Harry still didn't understand why there were two beds; him and Gemma always shared—but he knew she'd still be awake long after he came back to bed.

Sharing was more of a comfort thing than a necessity, and Harry was terrified for the day they'd have to be separated. He knew it was coming because he heard his counsellor speaking to Mrs. Tomlinson about the idea, and he wasn't excited. The idea of not being pressed up against his sister as they slept scared him because she had always been there and he always needed her there.

He was so dependent on being able to feel her close that he didn't know how to cope without her. Harry was working himself up over and an idea shared between his guardian and his therapist and he couldn't handle it. Harry and stress were never a good combination, and the more stressed he got the bigger the breakdown always was.

So there he was, sitting on the roof with nothing but his own voice to keep him company. His thoughts were racing, every horrible thing he could think of running through his head. Back in the trailer, he used to order everything done to him in order from worst to least awful when he couldn't sleep, and it was so easy for him to resort back to his old habits. His counsellor was working with him to break them, but it was so hard. He had nine years with those habits. They were like old friends now.

Harry hugged his knees to his chest, pressing his forehead to them. He felt a tears welling up and he blinked rapidly, trying to force them away before they escaped. He wasn't a hundred percent successful, but he managed to hold some back.

It was just so overwhelming. He was expected to cope with being thrust into this new environment without any blips, and he thought he was doing well, but his social worker and his counsellor always found things to criticize. It felt like they were nitpicking, and he didn't know how to deal.

He thought of Gemma, how fragile she was. He had to protect her, because he certainly couldn't trust the Tomlinsons to. He loved her too much to put his guard down. The last time he did that they got hurt real bad and ended up here, and he couldn't let something like that happen again. He promised her that a long time ago.

He didn't know how to fix his sister, and all he wanted was for her to be okay again. Harry sighed, his back hitting the roof, and he closed his eyes. He needed to hear her voice again, needed to. When the tears welled up again, he allowed himself to cry.

"What are you doing up?"

Harry jumped when he heard Louis' voice, furiously wiping his eyes. He never allowed Harry to be weak. He hated it when he and Gemma would cry. What if Louis hurts me for being weak? he thought. God, he was scared of his reaction.

"What are you doing out here?" Harry asked, trying to keep his voice soft so he wouldn't take it as being rude. He sat up, fixing his hair so it wasn't hanging in his eyes.

"I could say the same thing to you," Louis responded, his eyes sparkling. He took a seat beside him, closer than Harry preferred, and stared straight ahead. "I heard someone moving around a lot, so I came to check on you guys."

Harry looked at him, how pretty his eyes looked in the moonlight. A pang of guilt ricocheted through his chest, unsure of how to process the thoughts clouding his brain. How was he supposed to trust Louis if he couldn't even trust himself?

He just nodded instead, reverting his gaze to the shingles. Louis sighed, nudging his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

Harry wasn't sure of what to say as an answer, if he could share his reasons. So he kept in nonchalant, shrugging.

"Things are okay, I guess," he said.

Louis frowned at him. "It's okay if you want to confide in me, or whatever. You don't need to be afraid of me."

Harry took in a deep breath and looked up at him, and his breath got caught in his throat. Louis was older, and bigger, and he was intimidating. The concept of trust was not one Harry allowed himself to comprehend, and he wasn't about to start sharing his deepest secrets now.

"I'm not afraid of you," he lied. "I just never know what to say around you."

Louis reached over to touch his hand, and Harry froze. He yanked it away, keeping his hands folded on his lap. He needed to leave. The last person that wasn't Gemma to touch his hand was him, and sometimes it was hard to separate other men from him. He couldn't let Louis be that.

"My mum wants to help you. I want you to let her help you."

Louis looked down at Harry's hand before his face, and Harry felt shivers travelling down his spine. He felt a crack in one of the walls he had built around himself and he scrambled to repair it, building it back up firmer than ever.

"Why?" he managed, his question squeaking out.

"Because she cared a hell of a lot about Anne, which means she cares about you and your sister," Louis replied.

Harry shrugged, trying to hide the way that made his heart flutter. Someone cared about him. It was nice to know, even if he didn't fully understand.

Louis stood up, cracking his knuckles and hanging his legs through the window.

"I'm going to bed," he said. "Don't stay up too late, okay? Your tutor is coming over tomorrow."

Harry snorted, but then his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. He sat there for a few moments before returning into his room and cuddling up with Gemma.

He needed a stronger will.

A/N: Helloooo x I hope things are okay so far. This is going to be around 20 chapters.