Not good enough for you (Awsten Knight X sad reader)

Im trying to be better

(A/n this is an x reader story but I'm doing it in1st person, I'm just sick of using "you" all the time in stories haha oh and also Awsten is born in 2001 in this and so are you. So you're both 17 in this story and it's set in 2018!)

I brush my hair from my disgusting face that I never bother to wash anymore. Absolutely vile. I scroll though my very minimal notifications, still pondering whether I should make the effort to get up for school. It should be an easy decision but lately it's been becoming one of my numerous struggles. Anyway, if I go to school it's not like I'll learn anything from any of my cheap teachers. The angsty kids,basic bitches and the minimum wage is really getting to them. It's also not like I get bullied o anything,I just don't really have any friends or any purpose in life for what I want and can achieve. I don't really know what to make of my life anymore.

I finally sigh, might as well go to school. Sleeping around all day won't get me any further in overcoming this terrible mindset that I have. I get up changing into a burgundy coloured sweater and black jeans. I don't want to draw much attention to myself, obviously. I brush my hair and gather it into a neat ponytail at the back of my head and clean my teeth.I've never worn makeup because I guess it's just not my thing. I grab my already ready backpack and walk out into the living room. No one's up yet even though it's already 7:50am.nearly time to go. I pick up my schedule from the fridge, reading over it quickly. Wednesday...
School start: 8:20am
Lesson 1: mathematical methods
Lesson 2: pre-English
Lunch break: 10:35am to 11am
Lesson 3:band/music
Lesson 4: arts in practice
Lunch break: 12:35 to 1:15
Lesson 5: biology
Lesson 6: HPE (health and physical education)
End of school: 3pm
Not bad for a Wednesday I guess. I head off for school, getting there at around 8:10. Heading over to my locker I barely use until today, I struggle to remember the code. As I'm struggling with y lock, I fail to notice a purple-haired boy standing beside me gazing at me with strange but beautifully coloured eyes. I jump when I feel a tap on my shoulder, spinning around to meet boy face to-face.
"Um, can I help you?" I manage to not stutter. He smiles a bit, but in a friendly way. He puts his hand out in front of you.
"Hey! My names Awsten, and I bet you're wondering why I randomly came up to you. Er, I guess you just looked lonely and I mean I'm lonely so I just came up to you uh-" He rambles on and you laugh at him " Oh sorry, I can leave if you want..."
You stop laughing and take his hand, shaking it and smiling confidently at him, finally another one of my kind. " that won't be necessary, and it's okay. I would love to finally have someone to talk to other than myself." He grins and let's go of your hand, motioning to your locker. "Need some help?" I sigh. "Yes please, my code is ******." He opens it for you in like 5 seconds. You grin at him,silently thanking him and super impressed. He stands back to let you get your materials. "I didn't get your name?"
"Oh sorry, I'm (y/n). Bt you can call me (y/n/n) (your nickname)." After checking each other's schedule's we realise that we both share the same schedule! In reality it's only because we both didn't bother to choose subjects so we both were given the leftover subjects. (a/n Obviously you guys had to share schedules because what kind of fan-fiction would This be?)
- Skip to Lunch-
It's amazing how quickly Awsten and I connected. It feels like we were meant to meet years ago and I've already told him nearly everything about my miserable life because it's not like there's much to tell. I also found out that he was in a band! I  can't wait to meet his friends/band members.
"Wait,so you're telling me you know the Tyler Joseph?" My mouth hangs open in areas he nods his hand. Before  I can even ask,he answers my question. "Yes, I can arrange for you to meet him." Wow, this is so much to comprehend. I want to ask him so many questions but I don't want to use him as a friend. "We've been talking about me a lot,what about you (y/n/n) ?" I look down, pondering what I should tell him. I don't want to los him,heck it hasn't even been a day."(y/n), you can tell me anything. I know we haven't known each other for long but this friendship feels very special. If you're worried about me judging you or leaving you for anything, just remember I'm more fucked up than  you think. I don't expect you to be perfect babe." I felt a pant of worth in my heart when he said that,especially when he called me babe. I blush and smile at him, and not a fake one like I usually do. " thank you so much Awsten, you have no idea how much that means to me," He grins at me and takes my left hand in his across the table. As people walk past they probably assume we're a couple but for once I honestly don't care. It doesn't matter what people care as long as they're not close to you.
(A/n this is the point where it changes to 2nd point of view as in"you" "your" because it was too hard to keep it in first person and I can't be bothered to change it now I'm so sorry.)
You sigh,preparing myself to tell him some dark things, it's better to get them out of the way." Well, my father isn't exactly amazing to me. I won't go into detail about what he has done or does but you get the point." Awsten glares at you, probably for not telling him more. You continue. " and my mum is out of the picture, haven't seen her for 6 years. I just assume that she's somewhere far away from my terrible father. That's basically the reasons why I'm a depressed weirdo." You finish your short-depressing life story and notice that he's looking down. "Awsten?" He looks up at you with sad eyes. "Do you want to get out of here?" You nod and he leads the way, pulling you up from your seat. You reach the school entrance. " you sure you want to do this (y/n/n)?" You smile at him. "More than anything." He smiles. "You really are a keeper."
After walking for only a few minutes you find that he's led you to an abandoned park?" You ask running over to the swing-set, Awsten following your lead."I don't know (y/n/n). But you know now." You both swing for a few minutes, next to each other.trying to get higher until he stops, asking you a question that no one's ever cared about before.