1.
A e l a
"How are you?" Erudian said while hugging me as soon as he saa me.
"Fine. A little bit stressed out." He kissed me with my lips, ginantihan ko ito at bigla niyang nilaliman ang paghalik sa'kin.
Med'yo umatras ako para makahinga, "You?" Balik tanong ko.
Umiling lamang 'to, meaning he doesn't want to talk about it.
Hinalikan ko ito ulit at gumanti ito pabalik, he kissed my neck and I gave him more access kaso bigla itong tumigil.
"Love, as much as I want to we can't." Nilagay nito ang noo sa noo ko. He's scared na mahihirapan ako lumakad kinabukasan.
Well, his set of friends are full of experienced guys, siya lang hindi. I don't know but because of what he did, I'm craving for him more.
I know naman na he's also stress because of thesis.
As much as I want to ask for more time, I chose not to.
I need him at times like this, but he also needs my understanding.
Kahit nahihirapan, he made time with me like now.
"What do you want to eat?" Pabulong nitong bulong sa'kin while nakabaon ang ulo sa leeg ko.
"You didn't respond with the message I sent you..." Hinaplos ko ulo nito at niyakap pabalik.
"Mm. Cajun seafood? But I also want seafood pasta? Or we can eat korean food. How 'bout you?" Bumangon ito sa pagkakayukyok sa leeg ko at tinignan ako.
He placed his hands on my waist, "I'll go with the cajun seafood and seafood pasta of yours. Let's go my lovely and precious guest."
Inalalayan ako nito near kitchen, tapos pinaupo ako sa counter.
Well, I want to help him. I don't want to just watch. I really missed him pero I can't demand for more.
Even if we've been with each other for so many years, there's this wall between us na we shouldn't cross.
Especially me...
It's like he put it between us, but ayoko naman na pati iyon i-invade ko. I'm just letting him kasi that's his freedom.
Ayokong dumating sa point na magkapaguran kami or magising kami isang araw na wala na lahat.
Also, I don't want to be more dependent sa kan'ya.
Sinanay niya ako and I can't help but to fall harder than I thought. I'm always calculative with everything.
Since no'ng naging kami lang, nawalan ako ng control sa sarili ko.
But I'm still fine and I can manage myself.
He saw me na naglalagay ng apron like him and nauna na akong nagbukas ng fridge.
I checked his whole refrigerator if mayroon bang stocks. But kulang.
Then before I tell him he's already looking at his phone na nakakunot ang noo. I think something happened.
"Hey, what's up?" I asked him.
Hindi siya nagrespond agad but I can feel na macacancel ang date namin this day.
I remove the apron that I wore and nag ayos na ng gamit.
Then he saw me fixing my things and immediately went to my side.
"Sorry..." He looked at my eyes and I can tell na he's really cute when he's torn like this.
I don't know, this will be the third time this month na cancelled ang date namin. Didn't ask for an outdoor date na rin kasi baka bigla siyang may gawin.
And I was right.
"I'm really sorry Ae... I don't know how will I make it up to you." Ngumiti ako rito and hinalikan siya sa mga labi.
"It's fine, I really understand. It's not your fault naman. What happened ba?" Tanong ko.
"Our thesis got rejected, we're not complete raw when Benj defended the surveys." Paliwanag nito.
Naglakad ito patungo sa room niya to get his things, "But that professor clearly told us that it's fine even if we're not complete basta maipasa and ma-idefend."
"Wait, who's that ba? Si Miss Ramirez?" Tumango ito while still checking all the files that he needed to bring.
"Maybe she wanted to see you presented it, instead of Benj." Biro ko pa.
"I know. But it's not right. I'm so close on reporting her to the dean." Tawa pa nito.
Even their professor is crazy about him. He really has this aura na everyone will fall for him just the sight of him.
So lucky that I got him first.
"Love, babawi ako." Tinapik ko 'to.
"S'yempre! Magagalit ako if not talaga. But that's school stuff. Unahin mo 'yan, I'll always be here if the schedule permits." Pinagbuksan na ako nito ng pinto para makarating kami sa parking lot ng condo niya.
"Hatid kita sa condo mo." Umiling ako rito. "Noo, kahit sa sakayan na lang. I'll book a taxi now naman."
He insist. "No, on the way naman. Let me, kahit dito man lang makabawi ako." He's really having a hard time with their thesis.
"Is it fine if isabay natin si Benj? His condo is also near, he got the other files for our thesis."
"Sure!" Then ilang minuto lang nadaanan namin sa tabi si Benj.
Kumatok siya and open the door at the back.
Ngumiti ako sa kan'ya pagka-upo niya and gano'n din siya.
Nagulat pa ito, "Sorry, I ruined your date today..."
Natawa ako and sinabing okay lang.
"Prioritize your thesis guys, and we can always find ways naman next time to date. That's your major subject pa naman so need niyo talaga unahin 'to." Hi tilted his head and naghalf smile.
"Yes, sorry talaga. I feel like I'm the burdened..." Nag aalala nitong sagot.
"Hey, cheer up! Your professor misses Erudian soo, there's nothing to worry about. It's not your fault naman." Biro ko.
"Actually, it's Eru's fault for being so handsome pati professor gagawin lahat to see him e." Natawa sa'kin si Benj.
"I don't want to think more meaning to it but that's what I also think..." He rested his head for a bit so I stop talking at him.
"You can drop me off here love, ingat kayo hmm?" Sabi ko and gave him a peck on the lips.
Lumingon ako kay Benj and saw him looking at us. I smiled at him and nagpaalam na rin.
After all that nag ayos na ako to get ready.
"You can seat in the passenger, Benj." Eru commanded him.
I saw Benj na natigilan saglit and I think nahihiya siya?
I just shrugged it off and bumaba na after magpaalam.
A sudden realization hits me while walking back to my unit.
What if dito na magstart 'yong mawalan kami ng time sa isa't isa?
No third parties, no jealousy just purely no time with each other ang naging ugat ng break up namin if ever?
I should not think of these, if ever man na mangyari ito. I'll make time for him kahit wala siyang mailalaan sa'kin.
That's what relationship is.
