Shadows of Old

Chapter 5

My head was pounding with pain, like all of the blood had rushed to my head at once and like I had stayed out drinking all night. But I didn't recall going to a tavern or doing anything wild. I took a few deep breaths and let the pain subside for a few moments. I wiggled for a second, assuming I was in bed but found that I had my arm wrapped around something and my head was laying on the same surface.

I grazed my fingers across the surface and found skin. I registered the sound that was entering my ears and a light thumping filled them. A heartbeat. I lifted my head slightly, but the pounding started again. I rubbed the skin again and I felt an arm tighten around my waist. I blinked my eyes tightly and opened them to see my bedroom around me, the morning light beginning to break through the windows.

I turned my head up and saw a handsome face. Muriel. I attempted to smile, but I think it came out as more of a grimace or pained look because he looked concerned. It was fair for him to be concerned, my head felt like it was going to explode.

He reached his free hand up and brushed some hair out of my face. I leaned into his touch happily, accepting the soothing touch of his warm calloused hand. The feeling alone eased the pain in my head. His thumb stroked over my cheek.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I nodded gently. "My head just hurts a bit, I think it's because of yesterday."

His thumb stroked my cheek again. "Is there anything I can do?"

I turned around in his arms and draped his arm over my waist.

"I just want to lay here for a while," I stated.

He kissed the back of my head. "Of course," he replied.

His fingers traced over my stomach gently and he breathed me in. I played with his free hand, examining the fingers and all of the lines. I noticed there were scars on his knuckles. From what I remembered, he didn't have scars on his knuckles. I traced over them with my fingers.

"These aren't familiar. Are they newer?" I asked.

He tensed for a moment but responded with a quiet "yes".

"How did you get them?" I questioned, still tracing over the lines.

"It doesn't matter, Daph," he said and nuzzled his head in my hair, breathing in.

I felt guilt course through my veins. "Was it because of me?"

His arm tightened around my waist. I felt him nod against my head.

"I was... grieving, and I got angry at a tree." He said hesitantly. "Asra found me eventually, but I had already torn open the skin on both hands. He mended them somewhat, but he's not as good at healing magic as you."

I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed each knuckle.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

I wished I could believe him, but I couldn't. I had caused him so much pain, enough to make him hit a tree repeatedly out of grief. He had physical scars because of that grief, not just emotional ones now. The emotional scars were perhaps the worst though.

I don't know if I would ever forgive myself for letting him feel that pain.

I think he could feel the guilt rolling off of me, as he began to kiss over the side of my face. I relaxed a bit into the gentleness of his lips on my skin. He was sweet and warm, so gentle with the cause of his anguish. I didn't know how he could do it, but I was thankful. Thankful that he still loved me after all of the pain I had inflicted.