LAMENTS OF A BROKEN SOUL

Proem: It's me who needs venting. I need a broken dam to let out some damaged and debris from my soul and brain. To release the demon from my heart. And who is the best character to help me? Of course the emo villain king himself, Vegas Theerapanyakul.

The story is based on the novel. It still jerks my heartstrings and emotions.
Timeline: after Vegas 'released' Pete.

And btw, I tend to write something after hearing a song. This song is one of my best. I love this song. And I think, if Vegas's soul can sing, it would be singing this song.

*******

Damn it! This coffee tastes like shit! And who the hell give this sandpaper and dare to call it bread? Have all the cooks in this household lost their tastebuds?

Or is it my tongue that has gone numb?

I think my whole body is numb.

How many days has it been? I stopped counting time ever since I returned from the main house to look for him and... saw his face.

His... his injured face.

No, there were no bruises or bumps, not even any vague scratches. Because I'm certain I didn't leave any marks on his beautiful face. I will never.

And... he was laughing, he was surrounded by his friends.
But... why... his face, his expression... he was so... hurt.

Did I hurt him? Did I cause his pain? Did I engrave that tortured look on his face? I've caused him to be that jumpy and frightened by any sound and movements behind him?

What a stupid question! Of course, vicious savage demon, you did! Who else! You were the only person he was with during his imprisonment at your house! He was in your room!

Imprisoned? What do you mean imprisoned? But I didn't imprison him.
I... I was... at first, but... then, he stayed, he was my guest, my companion.
At least... that's what I thought, I di-

Aarrggh, my head hurts! It hurts more than when those wretched chains hit my head.
It aches more after seeing his face that day, his agonized face, but... what sliced my heart and crushed it to pieces was... he can't even hear my name mentioned.

He covered his ears as if my name was a bad omen, a hex that even only hearing it would drag him down into an endless pit of neverending nightmares.

But, I... I haven't given him nightmares, have I? Have I?

How many days has it been? Has it only been yesterday? A week? A month?
How long has it been... that he wasn't here...

Why does it feel like years have passed?

That it feels like my bones are cracking, my skin chapping... my mind fading away.
My soul ... vanishing.

Because yesterday I still have his talkative voice floating in my bedroom.
His sunny smile brightened the gloomy corners of my heart.
I held his body in my arms.
Touched his cheeks with my cold hands.
His soft sighing whispers in my ears as I delved into his warmth,
calling my name, although he begged me, "Vegas... please stop..."
But his hands were tightly clutching my shoulders.
Stroking my back as if encouraging me not to stop.
And I kissed and kissed his soft lips and...

We've shared our barren souls.
I opened my heart and poured out everything
like I opened his luscious mouth and dived into it.

I've shared with him the hidden part of myself that even I forgot existed.
The buried side of me, my human side.
My hands can caress instead of pulling the trigger or choking a person to oblivion.
My lips can give a sincere smile instead of smirking at a bloodied body at my feet.
My eyes can be soft and caring instead of projecting a fiery glare, teasing a person that they are about to die.
And besides my love for Macau, my heart can again give pure love to another person.