The Lightning Flash

Chapter 3: The Dinner

"Wow, two girls are going to be here for dinner, tonight?" asked my younger sister, Suguha as she watched me unpack all of the groceries that I picked up for dinner.  "You have a tough time not being a socially awkward weirdo when it's just Asuna."

"It's only because you always mess with me whenever I bring her here," I replied, frowning.

Suguha shrugged with a smirk on her face.

"I can't help it.  It's just too easy to make you into a nervous wreck.  Besides, I don't think Asuna minds.  If anything, she probably finds it cute."

I think that's just what you tell yourself, I thought to myself, rolling my eyes. 

"So, who's this other girl that she's bringing?  Is she someone you know?"

I shook my head, no, as I collected all of the grocery bags and went to put them into the pantry so Suguha's mom could use them the next time she went shopping.

"She's Asuna's friend," I answered.  "I haven't met her before but, from what Asuna has told me about her, she sounds like she's suffering through some similar things she is.  It's probably good that she has a friend that can understand what she's going through.  I do the best I can but...sometimes...I feel like I'm shit at talking to her."

"Kazuto, you do know what she's going through, though, don't you?" questioned Suguha, being serious for once.  "You told me...that you took the lives of lots of people to keep Asuna safe in SAO.  Doesn't that...affect you?" 

"Um...well...I don't know."

It was a broad statement but, to be honest, taking the lives of those SAO players never had impacted me in the same way that killing Sugou did for Asuna.  Perhaps, it was because those players were trying to harm Asuna and I...or that it was in a VR setting...it was true that I never killed anyone in the real world. But, was that really all that different?  Was I just being naive? 

Asuna's struggle with what happened with Sugou just proves how caring, kind-hearted and against violence she usually is, I determined to myself.  But, my lack of a struggle with the lives I've taken...what does that say about me?  Does it mean I'm the opposite of Asuna?  Am I...a cold-hearted monster who doesn't care about taking lives to protect the people he cares about?  Hell, I took pleasure in torturing that bastard Sugou in the VR world after what he did to Asuna.  It felt...good...at the time, I was disappointed that he force logged himself out before I could keep going.  I never told anyone this.  Suguha.  Asuna.  I just kept it to myself.  They could never know what I did to Sugou...no one could or they would see a part of me that I hate more than anything.  Could...that...be what POH finds so interesting about me?  Am...am I really that similar to that player killer?

"Kazuto," interrupted Suguha, in concern.  "I'm sorry.  Maybe, I shouldn't have said anything about that stuff.  Everyone handles things in different ways.  Just because I don't see you handling your problems, in person, doesn't mean that you don't on your free time.  I'm just being...insensitive."

"It's fine," I assured her. 

"So, are you doing the cooking, tonight?  That looks like a lot of stuff you got there?"

"I'm...I'm doing some of it."

Suguha chuckled to herself.

"Oh, are you going to make your world-famous pasta for us all?" teased Suguha.

"Grr...I never said it was world famous...it's just...one of the few things I can cook."

"You mean the only thing you can cook.  Oh well, at least Asuna will be here to cook some other stuff that isn't basic as hell.  Oh, and mom's going to be home early so make sure to cook enough for her too.  She'll probably want to eat with us too."