Sweet Adeline

Seven -

Adeline

I walk as fast as my tired legs will let me into the house and to my room. I shuffled through my drawers and pull out random articles of clothing to put on before shoving the rest of my stuff into my bag. I had finally got what I wanted- for them to get rid of me.

Is that what I want?

Of course. They had me here out of pity, and sooner or later, it was going to run out.

I let out a sob as I zip my bag closed and lean against the end of my bed. I sunk down to the floor and allowed myself to cry in between my fits of coughing. I had been horrible to them, and they were only trying to keep me alive. None of them had been bad to me in any way. They didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve them.

Guilt and shame burned through my veins as I sit crying. It feels as if all of my emotions flooded in at once and they're all fighting to be felt the strongest. I sit and crying for what feels like a really long time, but in reality was only ten minutes. I don't know what is going to happen, but I do know a few things for certain.

I am sad.

I am angry.

I am scared.

My door opens with a light knock and I don't move. James quietly sits on the floor next to me with my bag between us. He doesn't speak immediately. He sits there silently as I struggle to stop crying and wipe away my tears.

"I'm sorry." I whisper

James shrugs. "Don't be. You said what you needed to say, and you were right. Don't get me wrong though, it was a fucked up way to say it." I looked at him and he continued. "You're delivery could have been better, but you weren't wrong. We do try to take care of you. Can you blame us though? It is literally what we do for a living." He chuckles.

He has a point. I couldn't argue that. They're legit doctors who take care of people.

"And we walk on eggshells around you because we don't know you." He says, tossing his hands up, "We never know what you want or what you're thinking, and we whisper about you when you aren't in the room because we're trying to figure you out. And we can't. We have no idea who you are, or what you like, or if you like us, or even being here. But we are trying, Adeline." He pauses and sighs, "But, you're wrong about him having you here just because he wants to think he's doing something good for once. Because that is one of the best men I've seen in my entire life. He would give a random person the shirt off his back if it meant they would be in a better place than they were before."

"None of you deserved what I said."

"No, but that's not what I am concerned about at the moment." James says looking over to me. "You've been testing him for weeks. Seeing how he'll react and how far you can push him before he snaps. Today, I watched you break that glass on purpose. "

I didn't respond. Shame was washing over me like a wave pool. I felt bad for what I did. I knew it wasn't right, but I needed to do it.

"I'm not mad at you for it. I was adopted. I know why you did it, but you don't have to. And Owen will not send you back early no matter what you do, so you might as well try to enjoy being here." 

"But-" He said with a heavy sigh, " if you truly don't want to be here, he won't hold you hostage."

I stayed quiet, mulling it over. This would be the first foster placement that I hadn't been either sent back from or removed by the state in years. He watched me as I thought, and then pulled out a stethoscope from his pocket.

"I need to listen to your lungs to make sure there's no water in them. It's not negotiable." He said firmly as he put the ear pieces in.

I nodded, feeling too exhausted to argue. I could feel the blood rushing in my head, and I wanted nothing more than to lay down to sleep.