Best Laid Plans

Prologue

A/N: Here we go! Let's start with a double update.☺️

Perrie

The first time I saw Jade Thirlwall I knew she was a mistake. A fun, beautiful mistake, but a mistake all the same. I didn't know who she was, or even what her name was. I didn't know she'd manage to break my heart in less than a day. Or that she'd steal from me like a common pickpocket with overdue rent.

I didn't know she'd alter the entire course of my life, but I knew she wasn't a good idea.

I take solace in that, because it means my instincts are good. My habit of sleeping with jerks needs work, but at least I know they're jerks. It's something, at least.

I was in the midst of a sex sabbatical when I met her, because when you're a pretty, young girl, other people – especially men – seem to think you don't care about commitment. They seem to think that just because you're not prone to tears and dramatics and ultimatums they can get away with the bare minimum of caring.

I was sick of being treated like shit. Tired of guys who forgot to call or who didn't pay attention when I talked. Guys who wanted to show me off in front of their friends on New Year's Eve but couldn't seem to recall I existed by the time Valentine's Day rolled around. Guys who couldn't remember how I liked my coffee in the morning, or what flavors of ice cream I liked. Things that take almost no effort to recall if you care even an iota about the person you're dating. At twenty-six I was too old for it.

By your mid-twenties you have to make choices about the kind of people you date, or before you know it, you'll wake up married to a jerk and spend the rest of your life complaining about a spouse who would rather watch TV than help with the kids. Or one who runs you into financial ruin pursuing their lifelong dream of being in a band.

No, thank you.

So, I'd gone on a dick diet. I'd decided on six months. I have no idea why I chose six months – it simply seemed like an appropriate length of time to take a sabbatical. I was already four months into it when I met Jade.

Jade was funny and hot, so I thought why not. She was also a woman, so technically I wouldn't be breaking any rules of my dick diet.

Or, so I thought.

Apparently, Jade had a "little" extra something down there, and I'd felt my self-control evaporating.

Don't do it, I told myself. Do not do it. You can live the rest of your life without knowing what that girl is like in bed. Walk away. Because I knew, before I even knew her name, I knew she wasn't hiatus-breaking-worthy.

Hiatus-breaking-worthy would be someone I could have a future with.

One bounce on her dick and I'd be back to jerks who forgot when my birthday was when I was trying to find the type of dates who contributed to their retirement plans and had a burning desire to ask about my day.

In any case, one look at Jade, and I knew I wouldn't be able to resist her. And just like that, my four-month dick hiatus was shot to hell.