Best Laid Plans

Doubts

Perrie

It's over a full week later when I remember to look at Jade's iPad. Fine, I don't remember on my own. I remember because it's buzzing with alerts and annoying the hell out of me. I blame my pregnancy brain for forgetting. Pregnancy brain is a real thing, I know because I looked it up. Also, I read about it in the book, in chapter eight.

I'm in Jade's home office with Tubbs-McGee, working when I hear the buzzing. Which would be odd because I've never heard it before, but Jade was showing me something on her iPad last night, so she must have flicked the sound on and left it.

Which is fine, because it's a nice reminder that I meant to snoop through her search history and then check her digital library to see what pregnancy books she's bought. I need to get one step ahead of her on all this pregnancy knowledge because... well, I don't really have a reason. I'd say because I'm the one who's pregnant and I should know this stuff, but I suppose there's no reason she shouldn't be well versed in all of this. Jade loves knowledge, I've found. Still, I'm the one carrying the baby so it's only fair I have a bit of an upper hand. Plus, I'm not gonna lie, I'm really competitive.

I grab the iPad off her nightstand with a grin, sitting on the edge of the bed as I do. I flip open the cover, but the iPad is locked. Dang it. It was a nice try, anyway. Maybe I can distract her later after she's unlocked it and then take a peek. Satisfied with my new plan, I flip the volume switch to off and I'm about to flip it closed and toss it back on the nightstand when a text pops on the lock screen, silent this time. That's what was making the noise I was hearing, incoming texts. They must be synced to her phone.

The text is from Margo.

'I miss you.'

My heart is racing before my brain fully comprehend what I'm looking at. I jab at it, but I can't do anything but look at it as it flashes on the lock screen. My phone does this, flashes texts at me when it's locked, but you have to unlock it to reply or see more than the first couple lines of the text.

Then another appears.

'It was so good spending time with you. When can we do it again?'

Okay. Let's calm down and remember what a liar this troll is. She lies, I know she lies. And I can't see Jade's reply texts, assuming there are any. Her missing Jade doesn't mean Jade misses her too. Right? Except... why in the hell does Margo think she can send her texts like this? They've been broken up forever. We've been married for a month. Why is she sending Jade texts like this now?

Unless she never stopped sending them?

And what in the ever-loving hell does 'spending time with you' mean?

Another text.

'What time?'

Maybe she's just sending these to rile me up? But also, she can't know I'm seeing these, can she? Unless she remembers Jade well enough to know texts show up on her iPad. And she's just horrible enough to send them on the off chance that I'd see them? I wouldn't put that past her, to be honest.

No. That's so stupid, Perrie. Don't enable. Do not. You've dated how many jerks? So many. Enough for this to feel familiar. Enough to know better.

Tubbs-McGee has followed me into the bedroom, and he meows at my feet, concern evident on his little orange face. He's great at picking up moods, I've noticed. Unlike me. I suck at it because I feel blindsided.

Another text.

'Perfect! XO!'

I breathe heavily through my mouth, trying to calm myself. This doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. I don't know Jade's side of the story. Calm down. This can't be right. Don't freaking cry, Perrie.

I feel sick. It's not nausea, it's what I call the icky feeling. You know the one? When your body is flooded with an overwhelming feeling that something isn't right, or you're anxious or worried and you can't quite explain it, but you can feel that coat of icky hanging on your shoulders as surely as if it was a heavy winter parka.

Tubbs-McGee meows again and headbutts my calf, then paws at my leg. I slide off the bed until my butt hits the floor and let him crawl into my lap to comfort me. I wonder if Jade and I break up, can I take her cat? It's probably outlined somewhere in that stupid pre-nup I skimmed through. No wonder she offered me three million pounds a year to stay married to her. She must think that's my price to put up with her shit.

The thing is, I don't care that much about money. I'm a terrible rich person as it turns out, because I don't really want anything. I haven't used Jade's stupid credit card for anything. Mostly out of principle, but also, I don't need anything. So honestly, she can fuck off with her money and her public image and-

Am I overreacting? Remember the ring, Perrie. The one sitting on your finger that Margo claimed was hers. That was a big fat lie, whatever she's up to now might be as well. Remember the way Jade makes you feel. Remember how invested she is in this pregnancy. I scoot Tubbs-McGee off my lap and stand up. I'll text Jade myself. Or call her. Or what the hell, maybe I'll just walk down to her office and pop in for a visit. I mean really, her office is only seven blocks away, might as well.

I take a look at what I'm wearing – yoga pants and a sweatshirt of Jade's – and decide a quick change is in order. I slip into a pair of jeans, a size larger than normal that I bought last week because a size larger seemed like a better idea than maternity pants, and then pull on one of my own shirts. I'm not showing that much yet, I decide as I examine myself in the mirror. For example, if you have vision problems, you'd definitely have no idea I was pregnant. If you don't have vision problems, you might assume I had a really large burrito for lunch. Which I might, because it's almost lunch time. Maybe Jade will even have time to join me, after she talks me down from this rising hysteria.

Yup. That's probably what's going to happen.

I grab my camera and my bag and head out. Just a girl snapping some pictures for her Instagram and accidentally on purpose popping into her wife's office.

A/N: So... this was probably not what you guys wanted to happen, but here's a picture of Tubbs to cheer you up🐱.