Hope is a word with many iterations and meanings, to some it may be a belief, while to others it is a feeling of something far off. It can be a trust in a better tomorrow, it can be an understanding that one day things will be better. Every day is a journey. Every day we keep going is a day we are closer to where we are supposed to be. Can we trust ourselves to trust in that hope?
Will we allow ourselves to sink down and abandon our hope? Or will we face our giants and keep moving? We must keep moving to learn and understand our path to find where we belong. This is something we deal with every single day. We can also learn from the experiences of others. We can apply their experiences as far as they are applicable to our situation. Can we move on from these situations, or will we fall? Will we beat ourselves up over everything we have done, or will we be able to forgive ourselves? If you can move on, then you will be much better off.
We all need someone to accept and take us for who we are. We all need love in our lives, we need to feel that we are accomplished and our lives have meaning to them. What that looks like is determined by each and every one of ourselves, based on our experiences in this life. Will we be true to our own values, or will we betray what we stand for? only we can answer that question for ourselves.
At the end of the day we are what matters. Will we overcome our fears, and fight through the blood and tears to keep going? Can we keep going? Can we overcome the roadblocks in our lives? Or will we succumb to the fight and stop trying? I would submit that we must keep going and move forward in our lives to a better tomorrow. Do we let the trauma of our past change ourselves into something different? or do we work past it and become better people? Will we let all the hate and homophobia in the world get us down and beat us back into submission and hide? Or do we bring it to light to show everyone who we are?
I was raised Mormon, I followed it and believed it for many years. But then I started asking questions like why would a "Benevolent God" create people like me, who would automatically not be able to be in his presence, if he actually cared? Or is it that he does not actually care? Or maybe the Mormons got it wrong, and none of it is true. I personally believe the latter, there is no heaven, and no hell. There is only the here and now. I will never choose to let it influence me again.
I dare to live life to be happy, I choose to live in a way that I can be authentic with those I allow in my life. I believe I am here for a reason, I believe I can help others to be unapologetically themselves just as I am. I will never again be afraid to let the real me show through. Never again will I force myself to live a life I was never meant to. I will ask the hard questions, the ones everyone is afraid to ask. Never again will I hide myself, and disguise myself as someone that I'm not. We all need our happiness to live a full life, and I will live nothing less than my best life.
We as a human community must be more open and accepting towards others that may not be in our circle. Our job in this life is to love and accept others no matter what their circumstance may be. Once we can do that our quality of life will be much better. I will fight against injustice no matter who it is directed at. We cannot allow these things to continue for us to grow.
This is my vulnerability, take it for what it is worth.
