Sicheng had a particular habit. Whenever he felt like things around him got too rough, too tense he would put his headphones and would loop a song on repeat. This did save him alot of stress and also opened up his own time with his mind, never interrupted when he was in that zone. He found great comfort in this and often wore his headphones when he sat down with others. Tuning Everyone out completely. He found peace for a little while and comfort; that his mind stopped rushing here and there every single bit. He was rooted when that headphone was in his ear and he'd sway along to the beat or to the wind, whatever he felt like. No real thoughts reside his head and he felt free. He loved the little moments he had managed to carve out of something so busy.
'Sicheng'
'Sicheng!!'
'DONG SICHENG COME CUT YOUR CAKE!!'
his headphones were snatched away
Sicheng wanted to know how he looked like. All his life his face was what he had seen countless times, he knew he was good looking, but still. He wanted to see himself, not his reflection, him from someone else's eyes. He wanted to see how he looked sleeping, standing, sitting, smiling, laughing. He wanted to be someone else who could watch Sicheng. He wanted to see his life in a different eye. Not from the eye he had grown up with. What was it that bothered him so much, this sick feeling creeping in on his mind, making him think such ridiculous thoughts. He had to concentrate right now. He needed to cut his cake after all.
Xuxi was Sicheng's best friend. Was because Sicheng didn't want to be friends with him anymore. Because their friendship died long time ago and it took them now to let each other go. But not even once did Xuxi celebrated his birthday with him regardless. Sicheng spent all his birthdays with his family, the people who made him the man he is today; people who may or may not have given him generational trauma. People whom he never truly got along with. That sparked a thought. Why did he celebrate his day; his special day with familiar strangers.
This time, Sicheng could not conjure up an answer. Sipping wine on the balcony, away from all the laughter prompted on behalf of him, his day.
Upon returning to his room, he had found that Xuxi left him a bracelet, with best friends coded in Morse code. The bracelet itself was simple, white with the supposed alphabets in black. His mother would not approve of it Sicheng was sure. Did she ever stop to approve anything surrounding Sicheng? But Xuxi had made it, with his own hands; judging from the very poorly twisted knots. He loved that bracelet with all his being, platonic or not he didn't care. He was going to wear that bracelet to death he can see.
You're my best friend Xuxi, if I'm not here would you even exist?
