Twice Shy

07 TWICE SHY

SOMETHING IS WRONG with Ilyaz.

He has cleared his schedule at the office since the past two days. I usually wake up first, but he was gone long before I did. Moreover, he has abandoned his contacts. The glasses suit him better because they frame his angular face well. And I just have a thing for the league of young, burnt out professors.

Whenever I tell him that, he scrunches his nose and gets self conscious. His ears precisely flush a bright pink.  

I don't like the glasses now because there is no way he doesn't know he looks better in them. He hasn't been home at all the past two days, who is he trying to impress with the new face then?

It's almost eight o'clock when a Maserati ghibli slides into the driveway, and I'm sitting with a cherry flavoured lollipop in my mouth.

Ilyaz steps out, wearing a slim fit peacoat, a woollen dark green sweater underneath and jeans.

I have never seen Ilyaz wear jeans.

"Skipped work again?"

He just pats head and skirts around the house without a word, the same smug expression from earlier still plastered on his face. Great. I have no idea what my husband for the past three days has been doing. He won't tell me either, he's looming his secrets over me like Ebenezer Scrooge.

A certain Salman and Rabia going at it in the back of a car flickers through my brain, and my eyes narrow into silts.

When I'm in the porch feeding the stray cats some leftovers, Ilyaz joins me without a word. He places the bowl of water next to them, giving the cats chin scratches.

If he doesn't say a word about my declaration of getting a bob cat, perhaps it's because he's too busy remembering a certain architect or on site engineer. The cars Candy-O album cover comes to my mind, maybe they did it listening to it.

I'll kill you, my imagination shows on my face when Ilyaz looks at me. He gives me an awkward smile he makes to be polite, I know because it's the smile he gives his mother when she stuffs the food he dislikes for the fifth time.

Where were you? I want to ask. But my resolve keeps telling me not to. It's what he wants. The lounging in jeans and glasses, the smug grin, it's the beginning and end of his malicious focus. So, I turn to go inside.

"Ilyana," he grabs my wrist from behind me. When I turn to look at him, his eyes are closed against the breeze. The tip of nose is slightly red from the forthcoming winter, and his hair falls like tides, a bit longer than the last time I noticed him. He looks so at peace right now, and beautiful too. It's agitating.

"I have a surprise for you," he says finally.

He's going to say something nasty next, like, "I've cheated. I'm giving you the divorce you so desperately wanted," But for some reason, I don't have the heart to stick through it. I begin to unclasp his fingers over my skin, and he continues, "I'll show you the surprise tomorrow after work."

I turn on my heel to enter inside.
There's no way I'm staying home when he comes from work.

———————————————————

I was home after work.

Nazli and I spoke on the phone for an hour. She was emotional about us not being co workers anymore. She thinks this will cause all of us to grow apart, which is likely.

Zahra doesn't even like me, so she's out of question. Fazle is an evil genius who can easily wind up with a job that has a higher pay. In fact, he has got an interview today. Umer, although distant from us, is smart enough to establish his own business in the near future.