homewrecker - lams

111

[Book will be set in John Laurens P.O.V]

I wish I knew what true love felt like.

I've slept with many guys since college.

Teachers/Professors, Students, and sometimes random guys I'd meet at the bar.

Most of them were taken, and I knew that.

I don't know why I sleep with taken men.

I guess I can pinpoint the blame on my childhood.

My dad always cheated on my mom, and my mom always cheated on my dad.
Both slept with married people.

They never taught me what 'real love' was so I picked up and continued their habits.

Through middle school, to high school, and now college.

I didn't start sleeping with people until college, but I would always get with taken people through out middle and high school.
Y'know, be their secret boyfriend.

I'm on my second year of college and have lost count of all the people I slept with.

I don't even remember who my first time was with.

There are a few repeat customers.

First one being Charles.
I hate him the most, he scares me. I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
He gets mad when he doesn't get his way, or tell him no. He introduced me to a few kinks of his, though it wasn't something I was interested in or even wanted to do, but if i said that he would get pissed. One time he smashed a empty beer bottle over my head just cause I said no.
I never say no after that. Even if I don't want to sleep with him.
I'm terrified of him; he could kill me if he wanted. And he reminds me of that. He has a gun and he always threatens me with it.

Second, Francis. He's alright I guess. A bit sweeter than Charles. He claims to listen to my rants, but really he's just mindlessly nodding and giving fake sympathetic looks and fake apologies.
He always expects sex after I rant, I guess in his mind it makes sense, he 'helps' me with my problems, and I 'help' in return.
But like Charles, he never gives aftercare, nor does he cuddle me, or atleast kiss me.
He just gets up and smokes, completely ignoring me.

But I guess if the town sees me as a homewrecker, I don't deserve anything good.

And then there's Alexander, the only boy who actually listens to my rants, and never expects sex from me. He's the only boy I've never slept with.
I think I like being in his room the most. He has a huge TV, a mini fridge, and a few other neat gadgets I wish I had in my room.
Not to mention his bed; the sheets are always to warm and soft, and they always smell like him.
I think he does it on purpose, Y'know - throws the dryer in the sheets and them spray them with his cologne. It's nice to think that someone would put that much effort to make someone look or smell nice for me.
He claims to be single, and tells me everyday how he wants me.
Though, I don't know if he's truly honest, or just lying to get with me, but I like to imagine he's being honest, that someone like him could ever like a fucked up mess like me.

I like Alexander.
I wonder if that's what true love is like.
He makes me feel.. special, and happy.
He's what I always wanted, I hope we can be together one day.

{Alexander's POV}

John's a sweet boy. But sometimes he's distant.
I wish he would believe me when I say that I'm single, and that I love him.
He comes over a lot, and I always try to make sure he's comfortable. I stock my mini fridge with his favorite drinks and cold snacks, like Lunchables, with the others snacks just sitting on the top of the fridge.
I love seeing his smile when he sees it, Sometimes he smiles to wide I can see his tooth gap. I don't understand why he's insecure about it, I think it's so adorable. I always try to make him smile or laugh just to see it.
I think he's perfect.

[John's POV]

It's 11:45am.

I'm at Alexander's house waiting from him to come back from McDonalds.
He offered to get food, I offered to go with him but he told me he wanted me to stay and relax.
I wasn't going to complain, his room his comfortable.
It's cold, but not to cold. The sheets are warm, and his room and bedding smell just like him. It's like a comfort scent of mine.

Did I mention Alexander has gotten me a couple skin care items?
Face mask, Under eye mask, lip mask, and other items.
I think it's really sweet, he always wants to make sure I'm taken care of.

"Jackie?" I hear Alexander's voice call out, as he enters his house. I grinned and go to greet him.

Just hearing his voice makes me so happy. He's my safe space.

He sets the greasy bag of food down on the counter and kisses my forehead, before dishing out the food.

He got me a sweet tea, double cheese burger plain, and large fries. I swear he keeps my order written down in his notes app.

Not that I'm complaining. I think its sweet.

He also got me a four piece mcnugget, since I always steal him.

I swear this man knows better than I know myself.

After we eat, we go back to his room and cuddle.

"You're so pretty," Alexander mumbles to me, titling my chin up. He presses his lips to mine, and I can't help but give a subtle smile in the kiss.

His lips are soft and warm. I like his lips on mine.

"I think you're perfect, and I love you so much.." Alexander mumbles, pulling away and locking eyes with me.

My heart feels as if it skips a beat or two.

Hesitantly, I return the feelings, "I love you too.."

We weren't together. I'm not ready for that. He knows that, he's patient with me.

I hope this is what true love feels like.