Journal of a Rose

Interim 5 and the Realm of Dreams

[The previous entry seems to continue here, based on the date being the same one, though the text contains events for the day it was written rather than that of a previous day. A rabbit head is doodled in purple pen next to the date along with a very rotund green frog with a tiny crown in gold gel ink. The frog has an arrow pointing to it labelled Mando followed by a little smiley face in regular black ink.]

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I didn't think my morning could get any weirder than it already was, but as you can see at Castle Rose nothing is ever normal. Or quiet, for that matter.

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Right, so first things first I woke up to some loud as hell construction. Mando had told me at breakfast, which I'll get to in a sec, that they were building some sort of training sim... thing from the parts we stole from that scientist guy. I mean, it's free parts, right? Might as well.

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Next off, I found out that I SLEPT FOR THIRTY HOURS??? Was I that sleep deprived??? I thought I was an insomniac, usually at maximum I sleep for three hours, so something must be deeply wrong with me... Unless I actually needed that...? Regardless, I slept so deeply I missed some drama from yesterday. One of the dweebs in the basement escaped which is great. [An angry face is doodled here.]

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Anyway, the way I found out I slept that long was because my boys- Cal, Ib, and Mando -came to bug me, despite the decorative Do Not Disturb sign I hung on my door for my nap two days ago. "Why would they bug you?" you may ask, and that reason was cake. For breakfast. CAKE.

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Usually I wouldn't mind being woken for breakfast or something, but today I just... wasn't in the headspace for it, both 'cause I was exhausted and I just don't trust eating straight sugar first thing in the morning. But I couldn't tell the boys no. Literally. Cal threw my whole bed out the window, so I was stuck whether I liked it or not. A very persuasive and manipulative maneuver, I genuinely hope I never have to deal with that nonsense ever again, especially from Mando. That thought scares the shit out of me-

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It was for my own wellbeing they told me, which while I appreciate the concern I can handle myself just fine. Even if I'm feeling a bit... off right now.

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Who am I kidding? I can't really lie in here, especially to myself. I even told Cal the partial truth that I might've gone stir crazy if they left me be, but the whole of it is that I'm still reeling from EVERYTHING. Trying to make sense of everything that went wrong, trying to bypass my existential crisis and cope with one death, one near death and a short coma. Dealing with everything...

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I probably would've stayed in bed, or found myself huddled in the closet the whole day, maybe punch the bathroom mirror again, set the whole room on fire... Or, dare I even say, disappear off world for a day or two? Maybe not that last one, but if push came to shove I know I would decide to run from it all again. I seem to be good at that more often than not.

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But like I said, I appreciate Cal's concern. Self doubt says it might just be because he gave me a Keyblade, so I've got some sort of "higher importance," but I dunno. He seems to genuinely care. I know the younger boys do, it's only fair because of everything that happened. It's just weird is all, but I guess that feeling comes naturally when you're me. I just hope this doesn't become a favoritism thing, I'd hate for everyone else to get left out just because of some new powers or whatever. Can't believe it's all come back to this again, sheesh...