𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝙈𝙔 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙊 𝘼𝘾𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙈𝙄𝘼

17

          "You went to see them, didn't you? You know it isn't safe. Being this reckless isn't like you, Arisa."

          Aizawa and Arisa had always lived their lives together peacefully. Both were always calm and collected with a few humorous jabs here and there but today, this was the first time that they had argued and Arisa had to admit that it was all her fault. Today was the anniversary of her third brother's death—Arisa didn't have any positive feelings about her former family but she still kept track of all their death dates. She was the cause after all. Perhaps she desired closure, perhaps she wanted to remind herself of her rotten roots, the very people she buried to survive within and beyond those regal four walls. Perhaps this was a method of self-harm because seeing their headstones, all she could feel was guilt despite knowing she had no choice.

          Aizawa found out where she went because he knew her well enough.

          To the Sukehiro gravesite. One that only Arisa knew.

          "I had to see them," was all she could say as she stood before her guardian.

          "Why? They inflicted nothing but pain on you. They destroyed your childhood, gave you conditional love and unconditional hate—"

          "Because they're still my family!"

          He was stunned into silence. She narrowed her eyes at him before looking away, gripping at the sleeve of her white button-up, "Despite everything they've done, they were still victims. Just like I was. They're no different than I am. The least I could do was visit them considering I was the one that killed them. Why can't you understand that? This is difficult for me. Don't get me wrong," she shoved the palm of her hand to her eye, "Living with you has been a blessing. I've managed to learn so many things, able to understand what a healthy relationship was and what it means to be a child my age but I can't just act like my past didn't happen!"

          She tore her sunglasses away and finally looked at him properly in the eyes. Aizawa was surprised to see tears streaming down her face and felt like he was punched in the gut. Regret and guilt filled him as she furiously wiped them away, "I'm sorry for going but it's okay. Nobody saw me."

          "I'm sorry—"

          "It's okay," she moved past him, "You were just worried. I understand."

          He gripped her arm, halting her, "No. No, don't do that. Just, be angry with me, don't keep it in. You're allowed to do that. You're allowed to feel."

          He pulled her into an embrace and she allowed herself to rest her forehead against his shoulder. The two stood in silence for a while until he broke it, "I'm sorry. I should have been more understanding. I didn't want you to get hurt, that's all. I know how much everything means to you, this new life of yours especially."

          "Stop it. This doesn't sound very Aizawa of you."

          He pulled back slightly, looking down at her, an eyebrow raised, "What's that supposed to mean?"

          "You're more of the aloof type. No chick flick moments type of guy."

          "Well, this is the only exception," he huffed and she smiled slightly as she wrapped her arms around his torso, sniffling slightly. After a few seconds, he spoke, "You know, it's not your fault."

          "How is it not?"

          "You had no choice."

          She hugged him tighter, shoving her entire face into his chest as she mumbled, "I hope I can truly believe that one day."