Chapter 3
After hearing about my nana's death, my room was the one place I wanted to be in. Another 15 minutes later I was exactly where I wanted to be, staring at the dull ceiling of my room hoping it would collapse on me. Hoping I can feel something else besides unfamiliar heartache. I stopped crying, but not because I felt better. This kind of pain isn't the kind to cry all night about, but the kind that can only stop with the appearance of the one person I can't hold on to any longer. I heard a knock. "Matt's here to see you." His voice sounded sympathetic. I didn't get a choice whether I wanted company or not, Matt was that kind of person. " Julie?" Matt whispers, as if it was forbidden to say my name. I couldn't respond. I didn't want to respond. "Julie!" This time his voice seemed firmer, but I could still hear sympathy. I buried my face deep into my pillow afraid that I would flood again. "You don't have to do that." I felt Matt's gentle touch on my shoulder. I turned myself to look at Matthew. I tried to speak, but all I could manage was a whisper. "Do what?" "You don't have to hide yourself from me. I know who you are!" I snuffled holding back the tears that were about to shred my eyes. "Tell me, Matt. Who am I?" He gave me his famous sexy grin making me instantly regret asking. "You're Juliana. The girl who's never gone to a real party, but manages to get invited to the most important party. The girl who almost forgot to get her diploma because she was adorably nervous." He paused and took a deep breath. " The girl I wouldn't be able to live without." He always did have a way of making everything better. I tried giving him the smile he wanted. The one that said 'I feel better,' but all I could manage was a pathetic little smile. "See theirs my beautiful best friend." I looked away afraid he would see my blushing, smiling face. Before I knew it, his hand was caressing my face, forcing me to turn and our eyes met. There was something different in his eyes. His eyes were always hazel brown, but this time they had this glimmering green to them I never noticed. My heart began to pound louder, as if a beet of a drum was playing faster and faster as the moment became more intense. Still Matt did not move, and his greenish hazel brown eyes burned through me making me melt. I shut my eyes trying to focus on his warm touch against my cheeks. "Julie?" I opened my eyes and Matt was still there, his hand still on my cheek. He was waiting for something, but I couldn't get a sound out. "Julie I can't," he whispered. I looked into his eyes and no longer saw the sexy Matt, but someone who I was undeniably in love with. My body began to lean in closer to him without warning me. "I can't," he kept repeating, but my body kept leaning closer. I closed my eyes and perked my lips waiting for our lips to touch, but I didn't feel his lips on mine. All I felt was his hand pushing me away. "I'm sorry," Matt's voice was no longer soothing. "I," he took a breathe," I have to go.""Ummm...Matt?" I mumbled. He stopped at the door not daring to turn around."What?" matt replied."Are you still giving me a ride to the party?" I felt embarrassed for asking, but that was the plan. "Ok." His voice was almost mute, and then he slumped out shutting the door behind him
Two minutes later the door creaked open. "Matthew left," my mom sniffled out, sounding like she hadn't stopped crying since graduation. "I know," I said back. It was completely silent for a second. Lately those seconds have become longer and longer each time. "Do you want to talk about it?" Mom spoke softly as she gently placed herself next to me. "Maybe later," I answered back. I scanned her disappointed face angry with myself, because the truth was; there was nothing to talk about. Nothing happened. Even if I did tell her about Matt and the almost moment we had, my small problems were invisible compared to recent events. My Nana just died. I shouldn't be stressing about whether a boy likes me or not. It's disrespectful, not only to mom, who had just lost her mother, but also to Nana. Nana had done so much for me, and during her death all I could think about now was that almost moment that might or might not have been real. "Are you ok?" I guess I was lost in my own thoughts for a while. "Uhh... yea, sorry I was...thinking" I managed to say without revealing anything. I looked at my mom trying to force a smile, at least just convincing enough to show I was ok, even though I wasn't." I've done a lot of that too," She paused, searching through her pocket till she pulled a small silver box. " Nana wanted me to give this to you on your wedding day, but with everything happening...I thought you should have it now." she opened up the box revealing a beautiful diamond ring. " Was this Nana's?" I tried to hold back my tears, but some still managed to escape." Yes, grandpa gave this to her as a wedding wing, and now i'm giving it to you. I wish she was here to put it on you." She grabbed my hand extending my fingers and gently placing the ring where it belonged. It was stunning. I wrapped my arms around my mom thanking her for giving me the little piece of nana she had left. She held me tight, saying that " whenever you miss nana or just feel like everything's going wrong, just remember you'll always have a part of nana with you." Mom always did have a way with words.
