The End (One Shot)
Written: 04/25/15
"Chrystine! Sorry friend, hindi kita masasamahan later. May lakad kami ni babe eh."
"Tss." Sabi na nga ba hindi na naman ako masasamahan ng bestfriend ko dahil sa boyfriend niya e.
All I can say was 'tss'. Tuwing kasi babanggitin niya ang boyfriend niya, sinasabi ko lang ay "Magbrebreak din kayo." And then magaaway lang kami ng bestfriend ko.
"Kasi naman Tine, humanap ka na ng boyfriend mo!"
"Ayoko. Why go into a relationship eh magtatapos lang din naman ito sa break up?"
"Jusko, friend! Move on! 5 years ago na yun! Past is past! Friend, you can't control your feelings. Pag nagmahal ka, take risk. Mageend man o hindi. Hindi naman pwedeng hindi mo dadaanan si pain bago ka sumaya. Happiness is always at the end. Huwag mong isipin na sa una ang happy at si pain ay laging nasa dulo. Soon, you will find your happy ending."
Tama si Shaira. Pero, I'm just a coward. I'm afraid at ayokong magtake risk.
Umalis na si Shaira para makipagkita sa boyfriend niya and I am left alone.
5 years ago, may nanligaw saakin. We're MU, in short, we feel the same for each other. I'm really not allowed to have boyfriends dahil I'm running for valedictorian and study is the first priority.
But, nagtake risk ako. Hinayaan ko siyang manligaw without my parents knowing. For me, nung nagtake risk ako, sasagutin ko din siya at magiging kami. But then, he stopped courting me. Not because he doesn't love me anymore. He said that he stopped for me. He said he don't wanna see me having a hard time balancing studies and our relationship. He said na we should wait for the right time.
Pero para sakin, kapag nanligaw ulit siya or what, hindi ko na kayang magtake risk dahil ayoko ng magsinungaling sa parents ko. And that right time is just too impossible. How can we wait for 5 years? That right time is impossible. We can't wait for each other.
He asked me na walang magbabago. He's not courting me anymore pero sana daw we can stay as we are. Our feelings should stay as it is.
But I ended it, kahit wala namang kami. It's just too impossible. Feeling ko noon hindi naman talaga siya ang para sakin so I wanted to end it. At kung maging kami man, it will end anyways. Napaka-imposible namin. Imposibleng maghintay ng walang pinanghahawakan. Hindi sapat na panghawakan yung feelings namin.
But I freaking hate myself dahil nagawa kong maghintay. My feelings stayed as it is. Nandito pa din yung feelings ko para sakanya in 5 years.
But him? Hindi siya nakapaghintay. I knew from the start na hindi niya ako kayang hintayin. A man that would wait for 5 years? Nah.
Now, I'm Chrystine Rodriguez, 20, single, and not ready to mingle.
Wala talagang forever.
Relationpships? Sa una lang naman yan makulay. Sa una lang naman may forever. And eventually? Boom, break up.
Naglakad-lakad ako sa school campus. Ang daming naglalandian, seriously. It's Valentines Day so what to expect? Ofcourse flirty couples.
Flowers and harana. Puro yaan ang nakikita dito.
I always doubted his feelings for me. Kung seryoso ba siya sakin, or what despite the efforts and pagpapakilig na ginawa niya para sakin. I don't know kung totoo lahat yun.
Love in this generation is so shallow. Mababaw.
I remembered noong hinarana niya ako. That's the first time I acknowledged him.
