I Wish... I Have Loved Someone Who Could Love Me Back

The Pain Of Loving (One Shot)

On the first day of school
I saw you, we we're classmates
You were the first one to talk to me
Because I was a shy type person
☺I smiled when you talked to me
And you smiled back
We were sitting side by side
When our arms touched, I felt something...
⚡Something sparked
From then on, I had a secret crush on you
I don't know
You're not that handsome but I liked you still
You are tall and has a moreno skin tone
And you're popular in our community too
But I'm not after the fame

Time flies
Now I'm starting to like you
Really LIKE you!
☎My hope doubled when you posted a picture of a conversation
A conversation between you and your best friend
A simple picture that made me jump in glee and roll over the dirty floor
You have a crush on me!
Damn these happiness!
My heart is melting!
But then,
That hope faded
You courted another girl
The girl was one of my close friends
She knew I had a crush on you
She became your girlfriend after 3 or 4 months, I think?
It broke my heart big time
ⓨI asked her why
You know what she said?
"I'm sorry. You only had a crush on him but I love him."
F*ck you and your girlfriend! Even your freaking relationship!
I hope you both die!

You lasted for just months
I was supposed to be happy right?
But I'm not. I wasn't happy
I knew you were in pain and it's hurting me seeing you in pain
I knew you're hurting even if you don't want to show it
I can feel you hurting

You see, I like you
Get that?
But you don't like me
Because we're close, people keep on asking me if we're together
I'll just say, "Nah, we're friends."
Even if I want to say that we're together
Only saying that we're just friends hurts me
When is the time I'm going to proudly say that we're together?
I can't wait!
But, sad to think, that's never going to happen

One of my classmates told me, "You've been having a crush on him for almost 1 year. You know, you don't call that that 'crush' anymore, it's LOVE."
Yeah. I love you
Secretly, though
Why did I believe it?
That I love you?
Are there symptoms?
Or just because my classmates told me?
But, I knew
I felt it

I ghostly do something for you to know that someone loves you
I give you candies that has sweet notes on the wrapper,
Chocolates,
Sticky notes
❕But you keep on having other crushes!
❌It pains me, you know?
You didn't know someone is loving you secretly
I'm loving you for a long time now
✋And I'm still thinking on how to stop loving you
But how can I stop if you keep on going near me?
How can I stop if you're my classmate and that I can see you everyday?
How can I stop if you keep on texting me?
How can I stop if you keep on doing sweet nothings?

You keep on holding my hands to keep your hand warm!
You keep on hugging me to be comforted when you have problems!
You keep on doing sweet things to me!
⛲How can I stop loving you if I have fallen in your very deep well and there's no rope long enough to carry me back up?
How can your well be so smooth that there's nothing I can climb to to go back up and have my normal life back
⭕The normal life where I haven't met you,
where there's no you,
where I can't love someone like you
Inside the well you give me nothing
You're giving me nothing but pain

❓Why?
❓Why can't you feel that I have fallen for you?
❓Why are you so numb?

❓❔And why can't people ... why can't I understand the pain of loving?