"Screw you." |Tomtord|

second thoughts

//please keep volume low when playing the video as white noise.

A bright warm color seeped through the blinds, soaking the pale figure in a orange hue. A blinding light forcing it's way through the barrier that shielded his eyes. The drop of a pencil, the blink of an eye, the chill of a cold sweat running down his neck and he awoke. Pulling away from his previous position, disgust clouding his mind as he stared a mess of drool and papers. All of which signed, Red leader.

Tord, A name not to be taken lightly by any means, everyone in the vicinity knew of that, and while it wasn't spoken vocally it went without saying who was in charge. The steps of one who's confidence matched that of a person who could see the future, yet in nature remained a cold blooded killer, and fools were the ones to approach such a creature. Recently however he was made aware of his own mistakes, the thought of being lesser than himself infuriated him beyond anything. To rank lower than himself and have the audacity to take pity from anyone after the incident.

The thought alone shouldn't have kept him up as long as it did, but the feeling that he left something unfinished had. Nights spent working instead of sleeping, yawning instead of resting his eyes, like if he sleept it'd happen all over again. The idea that if left unconscious long enough he'd lose all sense of originality, couldn't trust himself. The goal itself didn't last long, having achieved nothing but eye bags and a lack of sanity.

Thoughts finally surfacing when he looked around the organized chaos that littered his work space. The setting sinking into his hazed mind, for a second only did it remind him of something familiar, for a second only did he understand what exactly it was he was missing. The impossible idea that his lifestyle would change to fixate his focus on it was simply outrageous and shrugged it off as just another minority in his day to day life. Then again his state of mind wasn't exactly clear as day either, but he feared what he knew was true as most do. Staring into space once he switched to a position more formal apon any intrusion as he gave it more thought.

Left staring a blank wall, a messy desk painted from left to right with issues others claim are important or should be important to him at least. An audible sigh filled the room all the same as the faint white noise of a worn down fan that needs replacing. Assuming that warm fuzzy feel of waking up had vanished entirely. Familiar it remained though. How peculiar he thought to himself while also frustrated.

The thought however interrupted by the overwhelming sound of a knock against the hard wood door he knew all too well. Forcing his gaze forward and first emptying his mind before addressing his current status to whom approached his office.

"State your business." He spoke briefly loud enough to be heard from the other end but also obvious enough through his tone of voice how irritatable he was.

"It's Paul." They said.

Tord responded with a less annoyed tone, as that reflected his current mood as he spoke, "well." He lowered his voice.

Now opening the door Tord could feel the temperature change from outside his office as if it were a breeze, damn the broken ac, you'd think it'd be easier.

"I came to check on you." Paul said as he lit a cigarette and stepped forward and letting the door fall back to its more appreciated position.

Staring back at the male he felt almost insulted by his actions however he respected him to some extent that he let it slide. Being the one who had his back all this time he felt it would be distasteful on either end to voice such an opinion. His attitude however didn't prove that at all as he picked up on the paper he had snoozer on prior to his appearance. Giving no regard to his presence.

"I don't remember it being your job to." He spat back with less venom than anyone else would have received.

It didn't offend Paul as he could only really compare the comment to a moody teens opinion despite Tord being entirely serious. Their relationship was what you'd expect it to be, with the level of respect they hold themselves to.

"A job none the less and I don't recall anyone else being an employee." Paul replied looking around the room trying to keep a stern face as it would be unprofessional to pose as a guardian in his own work space.

"Huh, I don't remember people being able to employ themselves." His tone sounding near done with the pestering but Paul persisted.

"Well I'd like to apply." He said, leaning forward and pressing the pen in the horned males hand to the desk top. "I realize you haven't been sleeping. Sleep deprivation isn't healthy." He said before Tord could make another sparky remark. Dropping the act and making for a more concerned position than anything.

Tord opened his mouth to speak but was once again cut off by the other.

"Is it them?"

Silence now crept it's way into conversation, Paul seemingly nervous about his own statement, more caring than he seemed intimidated. Still though, the emotion was faint but still there. Tord eyes quickly traveled to the side as a poor attempt not to blow up at him, he was working on that. Now offended he was by the comment he felt guilty to the question, brushing it off as quickly as it came.

Instead of replying Tord stayed silent, and Paul got an answer he wasn't expecting this time. Tord was stubborn but to be so accepting of it Paul himself feared what Tord already knew he was.

"I'm afraid I can't share that with you. It's incredibly rude that you ask such a thing knowing just how long I've gone without 'them'. Clearly you-"

"Well I don't think I need to hear it from you."

The behavior continues, what a headache, but some other emotion he wished he didn't know of.

"This isn't healthy, you know they won't take you back nor look at you the same." He said mercilessly.

His words cut like daggers, and while Tord used to be annoyed by his own failure now he questions if he's just annoyed at the fact that he let himself sink too far into this. Shamefully looking back at Paul.

"yeah, I get it, they'll never look at me the same but the army will always see me as a leader. Point made, please see your way out." He said pissed at the topic yet even more at his own childish remark. Picking up the pen he held prior and returning to his much needed signature. But Paul didn't move, Tord ignored this and prepared for what he assumed would be a lecture. However even after years beside him Tord simply didn't know him that well.

"Not exactly," he added before Tord stopped all movement and felt his heart beat quicken. It was abnormal, Paul of all people had been one of two to spend years of their life watching his front and back and to suggest such a thing felt like an insult.

"Soldier, please see your way out." Tord said finally without looking up from the paper that laid flat before his line of sight. The sound of footsteps deafening in the silence as Paul accepted his limits and spoke no more.

How was that fair? It was rude, pointless and to Tord the list went on. His day had been ruined in less than ten minutes tops, he was pissed and confused. Appalled at the waste of time that now furthered his feeling of guilt. It was fair, he just didn't want to admit that he missed something so stupid.

They were pests. He bounced his leg as he thought and considered Paul's words by heart. Right?..

// 1353 words