♡Eddie Munson oneshots♡

♡ Reassurance ♡

I can feel the world caving in around me again. It's getting hard to breath and I'm so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by society and the internet and all the standards. I just don't know who I am, and even worse I don't feel good enough how I am right now. Everything I do isn't good enough. I wish I could be cool, I wish people would look at me and think "damn she's cool, her vibe and appearance are so attractive".

I want to be worth love, I want to be good enough to be loved. There's so much pressure to have the best clothes, the best haircut, all the things that suit me the MOST so that I can distract from the things I naturally lack. I'm terrified that my clothes or hair styles don't suit me, scared that I'm walking around making a fool out of myself. Scared that people look at me and laugh or cringe or pity me for how awful I look.

I want to know who I am, what suits me and how to be ENOUGH. Idk, it's all just too much and my heart hurts and my head hurts and my stomach hurts and I can't breath. Another part of me wonders why all of this matters to me so much anyway. Nothing matters, life is meaningless and one day I'm going to die, hopefully soon. I give up, it's all too much to deal with.

It's late at night and I'm not doing so well. I've decided to type how I'm feeling in my notes on my phone, somehow it's only making me feel worse. All of a sudden I feel the back of my neck prickling, someone is watching me. I glance over my shoulder to see my boyfriend Eddie, looking at me with concern.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?", he asks softly. I can feel tears gather in my eyes, but I can't break down in front of him. It will ruin everything, surely.

"Yeah, of course, I'm fine" i muster, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Is it ok if I ask what you're typing?" He asks tentatively, "you just look a bit upset".

That's all it takes, I break down right in front of him. I'm so attention seeking for not being better at hiding my emotions but I can't help it. I want attention, I want reassurance, I want to be comforted and told it's all going to be ok.

"Hey, hey, baby come here", Eddie's warm embrace just makes my tears fall faster. He asks what's wrong, again and again in a soft voice that still manages to pierce my heart and make me cry harder.

I can't talk, so I show him the screen of my phone, my vent I had just typed in my notes.

As he reads his face grows more and more concerned. I can feel his arm tighten around me, almost as if he could protect me from my own thoughts.

Once finished reading, Eddie drops the phone in front of us and pulls me close to him. I can smell his sweet, comforting smell as I bury my face in his neck. I feel safe, finally.

He mutters sweet nothings and reassurance in my ear and squeezes my hips, pulling me ever closer to him. His warmth dulls the pain in my heart, slowing clouding it out entirely. For once everything really will be ok and I feel content.

"I love you, sweetheart, you're perfect".
"Everything about you is beautiful, you are a piece of art"
Look at your eyes, you're lips, your body, your mind, I adore everything about you"
"Please know this baby, you are my one and only. You are so stunning and attractive  I don't even know how I deserve you"
"Don't listen to your mind sweet girl, listen to me. You are perfect, beautiful inside and out. I promise baby, you are all you want to be and more, you just don't see it"

I feel my eyes dropping, it's getting late after all and my adrenaline has finally faded out, leaving me exhausted. I pull Eddie against me and lay us down on my bed. I can hear his breath deepen and he drifts off and I curl up against him, relishing in his warmth and comfort.

I'm almost asleep when I hear a light mutter in my ear "I don't know what I'd do without you love, you are my perfect girl and I will always be here to remind you how much you are worth". I smile sleepily and drift off in contentment.

Hey, this is my first time writing fan fiction so I hope it isn't too bad. Requests open <3