Remember Love

13

"I KNOW, IT'S MY FAULT!" I opened my eyes, panting. I immediately squinted at the dazzle of the light. My forehead was full of beads of sweat. My hands were cold, clammy, and shaky.

My eyes ran all over the room and saw no one. Then a yellow folded paper caught my eyes. It was peacefully sitting on the top of the bed side table. I took it and saw a familiar penmanship.

RJ. It says.

I unfolded it and started reading the content.

Dear RJ,

You don't know how nervous I was earlier. I called your name over and over again and you did not budge to look at me. I even slapped your face and hit your arm as an attempt to wake you up from where you were so I'm very sorry because I'm sure it's reddish by now.

You may be wondering why I wrote this letter. Well, I just want to scold you for almost giving me a heart attack. I thought you're going to die. Thank heavens Yaya Virgie (as she wants to be called) was there to help me. She said it was one of the days that your past is haunting you again.

RJ, I want to help you heal but I can't because even how many times I make you forget, it will still haunt you. As long as it's still in you, you can't forget. You can't move on. You can't live in the present. So, RJ, do me a favor.

Help yourself. I know you think it's hard but no it's not. You are the only one making it hard. You're covered with fear. Fear of letting go. And that is what makes them all hard. Harder and harder as days pass by because you're just stocking them, you won't let them out. You stocked them and now you're stuck with them.

And the only one who can help you is yourself also. Not your family, doctors, nor me. Only you.

RJ, I may not know you very well but I truly and sincerely care for you.

Help yourself. Choose yourself. Love yourself.

Caring for you,

Maine

I did not notice I'm crying until there were teardrops on the paper. Oh, Maine, how sweet of you. I'm trying to help myself, Maine. No, forget that. I will not try because I will do it. I will help myself. For my family, for Tisoy, for me, and for you.

I don't think you don't know me very well because your letter knows the right words to say. It actually motivated me to help myself, choose myself, and love myself. You inspire me, Maine.

"RJ, are you awake?" The door opened and auntie came in. "Hey, are you crying?"

"No, I'm not, Auntie." I wiped my tear-streaked face.

I earned a frown from her when she saw the paper I'm holding.

"Where did that come from?"

"Maine."

"Omg!" She gasped and gave me a smirk. "Ikaw ha... may letter-letter pa kayong nalalaman."

"Ikaw nga may wink-wink pa kayo ni doc. Lalandi niyo!"

"Bibig mo, RJ, ah! Anyways, your papers are processed pwede ka na umuwi at rinding-rindi na ako sa pagmumukha mo."

"Rindi ka na pala so hindi na tayo tuloy sa sessions natin?"

"Hoy, anong hindi! Sa ayaw sa gusto mo, you will see me and we will have your sessions."

"Easy ka lang, Auntie. Of course I will go to our sessions. Hindi na kita iiwasan."

"Aba dapat lang!" She crossed her arms.

"Richard Faulkerson Jr.!!" My Dad, who was fuming mad, suddenly barged into the room.