ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙᴀᴅ ɢɪʀʟ // $ᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇʙᴏʏ$

6

Clover

Pavlos didn’t even care that I heard him. In the early days they would whisper or talk about me behind closed doors where they didn’t know I was listening. But not now.

Now Pavlos and Kellie didn’t give a shit that I knew what they thought of me.

Pavlos’ words carried loud and clear. The little window in the room I slept in was open, and his voice reached me perfectly. So did Aristos’.

She’s a fucking nightmare.

Dad, please…

Of course the answer was no. I knew it would be. They hated me, both of them, and I didn’t blame them.

I didn’t spit in Kellie’s stew though, I just pretended to. She wouldn’t believe me when I said I hadn’t really. She threw the whole pot in the sink and told me I was a horrible girl. And then she cried.

She flapped her arms about and called for Pavlos and told him she was done with me, that they were all done with me.

And I shrugged and said I didn’t care, that I didn’t give a fuck about her shitty stew, either. I said it tasted like shit and she’d done us all a fucking favor by throwing it out.

I didn’t know when to stop when I started, that was the problem.

I didn’t know how to stop the way I felt about Aristos, either.

I watched him watching me. He looked as defeated as I felt deep inside. He looked like he didn’t want to leave, even though I knew he really didn’t want to bring me there.

It was probably just because he was one of those good guys. There weren’t many of those, but if they really existed, he was definitely one of them.

I held up a hand and waved, hoping he’d wave back. Maybe he’d smile.

Aristos had a great smile. He had a great scowl, too. He looked so fiery and hardcore when he got angry, and it came more natural to him than he seemed to think it should.

He didn’t have any idea how hot he was. Most hot guys knew it. Even most of the not-so-hot guys thought they were god’s gift, but Aristos was the real deal and he didn’t have a clue.

His long hair was messy even though I was sure he tried to keep it looking smooth. It was probably not even a style, not on purpose, but it looked just right on him. Dark and messy and cute. Cool, even though I was sure he didn’t mean it to be.

I thought most guys looked like dicks with long hair, but he looked just right. He had a lot of different hats that he placed on top of the mess, and one of those was a simple black one with a Storm Trooper on it that made me smile when he wasn't looking. Once when he wore it, it made me smile but he caught me and thought I was laughing at him.

On the surface he seemed so cool and in control, strong and supportive. But I couldn’t help but notice this other side of him, the side maybe I shouldn’t have seen.

The gawky, kind of cute side. The side that didn’t match even though he tried. The side that brought me home when I’d been drinking, and cursed at me. The side that looked at me the way he was looking at me now.

He did wave and my heart ached for him. It was a sad goodbye.

He hovered for a minute before he got into his car, and I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered if he believed everything Pavlos said about me.

I wondered if he knew now that I wasn’t lying when I said they didn’t give a shit about me anymore, and there was no way an apology would make any difference to them.

Like it or not, I’d be on my own in a few days. Welcome to adulthood, Clover. I could hardly wait.

I watched his car pull away and kept watching the road until he was long gone. The day was drawing in outside and I loved the way the birds sang around there.

I loved Pavlos and Kellie’s house, even though I would never say it to their face. I loved their dog, Artemis, even though I would never pet him when they were around to see it. I walked him through the fields at the back of the garden but they didn’t know that. I always hung his leash up exactly as they left it, and I’d never been caught yet.

They’d just think I was up to no good if they did catch me, so it was our little secret, Artemis and mine.

Aristos’ place looked like it clearly had no garden. There would be no birds singing and no fields to walk in and no Artemis, and loving those things was in my blood, being Romany and all, but even so, I’d still have considered giving up my dreams of the open road if he’d let me stay with him.

♡♡♡

I heard Pavlos and Kellie in the kitchen downstairs loading up the dishwasher. My stomach rumbled, but they didn’t offer me anything to eat, and I didn’t expect them to.

I missed dinnertime.

I’d had to sneak downstairs when they were in bed and grab something from their pantry. They’d started hiding stuff from me those past few weeks, but I knew Kellie kept some chocolate in her sewing tin.

They already had a kid lined up to replace me, I heard them on the phone with the agency talking about it.

I hoped he was a better kid for them than I’d been, and I hoped he liked this place as much as I did.

The thought of leaving here made me feel more upset than it should. I balled my hands into fists and choked back stupid tears that I didn’t deserve.

I could’ve stayed if I were better.

I could’ve stayed if they hadn’t seen the bruises on my arms and thought I was into drugs or self-harm, or a load of other things that made them look at me in those ways I hated.

Pity and fear and disappointment.

Maybe I wouldn’t have been such a bitch to them then.

I wasn't into drugs and I wasn't into self-harm, I was just sick of telling people that when they never believed me anyway.

I had to wait a long time for Kellie and Pavlos to go to bed, and when they did I found Kellie had moved her chocolate stash from the sewing tin.

There was a note on the side, scrawled out for me.

If we don’t deserve respect enough for you to join us for dinner, you don’t deserve to eat our food.

She had left a couple of slices of bread out for me, but I couldn’t even find the butter. She’d hidden it. She’d hidden everything.

The tears stung, but I didn’t let them fall.

I’d be gone before morning, twenty-one be fucked.

And I wouldn’t even be sad.

I packed up a backpack of my clothes and my few stupid trinkets, and I kissed Artemis goodbye before I left. I had to ditch out of the living room window because the front door was locked, but I was as quiet as I could be, as quiet as a mouse.

And then I was gone.