Chasing Heart

| Mani Di Shaadi|

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Mani Di Shaadi: Mani's Wedding

Yes, I'm alive.  

My comeback will be with this story because I've been thinking about Iman's story recently.

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Iman

I'll be honest. There have been times when I'd wondered what it would have been like if I had married Ibrahim Arhaan Sheikh, my elder Mamu's son, and the cousin that I had a crush on.

*To clarify, Islam permits marriage between cousins. 

I wondered if I would have been pampered, especially by Arhaan Mamu. I wondered if Nazia Mumani would have changed in her new role as my mother-in-law. I doubted that, but I couldn't help thinking these thoughts.

My mehendi covered hands gripped the railing on the terrace of the Ali family home, in DHA Lahore. Tomorrow was the 'Qabool Hai' day, and I had no idea what I felt more: nerves or anxiety or fear.

"What are you doing up here? Everyone is looking for you!" Hania Appi's made me jump slightly and I turned to see her walking towards me, looking annoyed. She was dressed in a dark green sari with a gorgeous golden border, looking exactly like our mother.

Meanwhile, I wore a lehenga which had a tie-dyed shades of orange, pink and yellow, with mirror work decorating it. It was a gift for my Mumanis, as they felt that the colours would look good on me on my mehendi night.

"I needed to breath. It was suffocating down there." I turned back. "You don't want a bride struggling for oxygen, do you?" I stared up at the dark sky.

 "Liar." My sister knew me well.

I looked at her, raising my eyebrow. 

"You are scared about going into a new family." 

I scoffed. "I don't get scared of minor things." 

"No, Mani, you get scared. You just don't show it because you feel that showing fear makes you weak. But, fear only makes us human." She put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's nothing like that. I was just missing Dada Jaan. How happy would he have been, knowing that his little Mani was getting married." I choked up as I talked about him. It wasn't even a lie. I did miss him. He had always pampered me, calling me his little doctor gudiya. While my Dado had always been wary of my mischievous behaviour, my paternal grandfather had always laughed it off, saying 'kids will be kids'.

*Doctor gudiya: doctor doll.

"I wish he was here today." I whispered.

Hani Appi wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "For the record, all our grandparents would be really proud of you, Mani." 

I smiled, and I hugged her back just as tightly. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but my sister had come at just the right time. I really needed her right now, and without me having to say that, she just knew that somehow.

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For the actual mehendi ceremony, I had Mama's mehendi dupatta draped over my head. I sat on the swing on my own and watched my cousins with a smile, as they had the time of their lives.