Only you can save me part 2 (A Paul Walker fanfiction)

Preview: "after"

Waking up with that plant in my face was, like I said, the start of the "after" part of my life, but I had no idea what "after" would be. Once my head cleared as much as it would ever clear, I thought it would just be a simple case of going home you know? Go home, find my family, sort out the mess and get taken care of. It was still straightforward in my mind so I still didn't realise I was in the "after" part. I picked myself up, started walking and that was one long walk I swear. If you look at the map, I had to walk from Valencia where it happened to San Fernando. That's a walk across Los Angeles on a broken leg with burns across my body. Why didn't I call for help? Well for one I had nothing on me but my clothes so I couldn't call anyone and two, I was half expecting to be "found" any minute you know? I remember thinking typical, when I want to be left alone someone stops me at every corner and now that I would like someone to notice, no one reacts. At one point I walked past a tv and there was a news report about the death of Paul Walker but it didn't seem to be about me you know? It was all messed up for me, all I could think was "go home, go home, everything will sort itself out" you know? I didn't realise all that stuff was even connected to me. 

I don't know how long it took to get back but eventually I arrived back and I thought thank God, I'm so tired I'm gonna be able to sleep in a proper bed, get some cream for that leg and be ok. And when I walked up to the house, my family was at the door, outside you know? Maybe they had just seen someone off no idea but my mom was outside, my brother and sisters and my daughter. And by that time I was limping real bad but I just wanted to run up to them you know? I did think I was running but I was probably just going at a crawl. And they hadn't seen me first, but then one turned, my sister, and then they all turned. 

Moms face changed first. I will never forget that. I had expected her to smile, like she always did when I stopped by you know? A hey you're here I'm so happy to see you kind of smile. But she didn't smile, she just looked like she saw something disgusting approach her. I thought, well, I probably look pretty bad, and I wanted to yell at them you know, but my voice wasn't really clear, it was hoarse and yelling didn't really help that much. So I just kept going and they started moving back. And then they started yelling at me. Telling me to leave. I think it was my sister who said it first. Get out of here, those were the words they used, get out of here. And I just waited, you know, for them to recognise me? But my brother, there are stones in front of our house, or there were then anyway, little white pebbles that make a border around the grass you know, my brother took a handful of those stones and threw them at me. I think only one actually hit me, but that brought me up short. What the hell? What are you doing? Man, stop teasing me, this ain't funny. I was getting angry you know, I didn't get that they were playing around. And then, I saw my daughter. And she looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen. She looked like she was thinking if you touch me I'll scream. So, it was real. It wasn't a joke. But you know, I still wanted to just make them see me, and then we would be ok. So when they went inside I followed. 

My mom came back out. She was the one who shoved me and pushed me away while the rest of them looked out of the window like a bad painting. "Family witnessing the execution of lost son" or something like that. She had her hands on me you know, and I just kept talking to her, mom it's me Paul, what are you doing stop, I'm ok I didn't die. I think I said more but I don't really remember, I kept talking you know, still trying to get through. And at one point our eyes crossed, and I knew, that she knew exactly who I was. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself I was wrong later, but I was sure back then. She knew, and she was chasing me off. 

I got the same treatment everywhere I turned. Vin? Nothing. Tyrese? Not a damn thing. The whole Fast family? Nada. Zip. So I became the vagrant I was once named after you know? I wasn't doing well. My leg was really hurting a lot all the time and it got worse and worse, my head was like, clouded, a lot of the time. I was living in constant pain, hungry, thirsty. At night I slept under benches or in a park. I forgot who I was you know? And after a bit, I stopped caring about it. Everything that had ever meant anything to me was gone. 

Now, when that crash happened my love life was a mess. I was with someone but I wanted to leave her and I wanted a future with someone else but she was married. I have had a gift for that kind of relationships all my "before" life you know? When I made my girlfriend pregnant I was sleeping with her best friend and I hadn't improved much you know?  So one night I was in the park where I would sleep sometimes, it was just outside of LA, and it certainly wasn't a place where you would walk your dog, for sure. I was near a fire and got chased away as usual, this was about four months after the crash. And the girl that I wanted to be with more than anything, who was unfortunately a little bit married  :)  was there too. I really did a double take you know, thinking I was starting to see things. Thank God at least I'm finally dying or going mad, either was fine by me at that time. But she was really there, and she even talked to me.

She was the only one I hadn't tried to approach you know, so it was a real struggle in my head now, do I tell her yes or no? Well, she did something pretty typical of her so I thought, I'm going to die anyway I have nothing really to lose. And her face changed too you know, and I was thinking oh no, not her too. And then she tells me "you look like Paul Walker." I think that was the first time I smiled in months. And she was good to me, she took me home. And she saved my life.