Yes, I Promise

Chapter 1

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. "Shit! 8 na!" dali-dali akong bumangon at nag-punta sa CR para maligo. Pumasok na siguro siya.

"Ate, pa lock nalang po ng gate!" mabilis akong nag drive papunta sa office, "Chan! bakit ngayon ka lang! Hinahanap ka na ni Boss! Sa office daw, punta ka nalang" mas lalo akong kinabahan ng sabihin ni Riri na hinahanap na ko ng boss namin. Lagot na naman ako.

"Ms. Castillo, you're late again! Kailan ka ba matututo! Palagi ka na lang late! Do want to lose this job? I don't think you're serious about this, you always think highly of yourself! Ano? Nagmamalaki ka na ba?" nanatili akong nakayuko habang sine-sermonan ng Boss namin.

"No, Pa- Sir" I almost slipped, I wasn't allowed to call him at work. "Then why do you keep going to work late? You're so unprofessional! If they find out that you're my daughter, that will be so embarrassing for me! Gayahin mo kasi ang kapatid mo! Wala kang kwenta, kagaya ka rin ng Nanay mo! Pasalamat ka nga pinalaki pa kita ng maayos!"

I was trying so hard to hold my tears. No, I won't cry. I can't. "I'm trying my best, Pa, you know-" I was cut off when he started talking again. Not even letting me finish my sentence. "Oh! Shut it! Ang arte arte mo! Gigising ka lang ng maaga hirap na hirap ka pa!" I let him shout at me. I just let him. I'm tried of explaining when they don't even want to hear my side. It's tiring. That's the thing with some older people today, just because they have longer experience they think they're always right, we're never given the chance to give our side, once they've said their opinion, right or wrong, they don't care. Whatever you'll say, you're wrong, you're just a kid, you have more to experience, you can't give opinions.

"Get out! Just please do your work properly, hindi kita binabayaran para tumunganga!" I slowly walked to the door, Not saying anything, I just left.

"Chan! Ano napagalitan ka? Na-late ka ba ng gising?" naga-alalang tanong ni Riri sakin, "Riri, I'm okay! Sanay na ko, tara na" pero dahil siya si Rianne di siya papa-pigil "Pero bakit ka ba kasi na-late, di ka ba nag-alarm?"

"Ri, hayaan mo na yun, ayos lang, tsaka oo, nalimutan ko kasi mag-alarm eh, tara na baka mapagalitan pa tayo" tinitigan niya pa muna ko bago kami nag-lakad pa-punta sa floor namin.

I'm working in my fathers' company, it's a clothing brand, I also make gowns and other clothes but that's not part of the company, I just do it for extra income. "Chan, tara lunch! Sa cafeteria tayo, may adobo ata ngayon, favorite mo", hindi ko na pala namalayan yung oras, lunch na pala.

Habang nakatingin sa menu, I felt like someone's staring daggers at me, but when I looked, no one was looking at me, I just shrugged it off. I looked at the menu again and I saw sinigang, he loves this, Maybe I should cook for him later. I ordered adobo.

We sat on a table na hindi masyadong kita, "So, na-sermonan ka na naman ba?" di ba nakakalimot 'tong babaeng 'to? kulit, "Oo, hayaan mo na, kumain nalang kasi tayo"

We got back at our floor and felt like someone was staring at me again, "weird" I mumbled as I continued working again.

It was 4 PM when I got home, maaga kami ngayon natapos. I opened the door and I was quickly welcomed by him watching Mr. Bean on the TV, when he saw me he quickly ran and hugged me. No matter tired I am after working for hours, this is more than enough to take all the tiredness and stress.

"How your day, Baby?"

"Good, Mommy! Look I have stars oh! Teacher even made us draw, She said draw the things we love, Mommy! I drew you! Do you wanna see it?" his eyes were glistening as he waited for my answer.

I smiled, "Very Good, anak, I'm so proud of you! Of course, I'd love to see your drawing but I'll change first, okay?" he gave me his very cute smile, I tapped his head before heading to my room to change.

"Zori! baby! where's your drawing, Anak? Let me see" I asked my son that's now watching SpongeBob while eating gummies. "Zori? where did you get that?" I asked him softly because I don't remember buying him gummy bears.

"Oh, bigay po ni Kuya guard kanina sa school, The one who always wear a mask po, My" kwento ng anak ko habang kumakain ng gummy bears. "Ah, so nice pala ni kuya guard, 'no, baby? nag-thank you ka ba, anak?" tanong ko "Yes, My, he even took off his mask! he smiled at me, My! That's the first time he took off his mask po!" my 6 years old son was looking at me with wide eyes while chewing on his food, so cute.

"My, here's my drawing po, it's you po" he handed me the drawing, he's very proud, I looked at the drawing, it was me, I started crying, God, after every shit that I've been through, the world is still kind to me to give me this precious child, I swear to love him all my fucking life.

"My, hala! Mommy, bat ka po naiyak" then he started crying too, oh God, "Anak, anak, it's okay, I'm okay, Mommy's okay, I'm just very happy, I feel so lucky that I have you" he stopped crying and looked at me, I wiped off the tears in his cheeks, "Mommy, I'm also very lucky to have you, I love you so much, Mommy ko" he hugged me as I started crying again, What would I do without you.

That night, I was missing him so much, the pain and regret I was feeling for him, he could've seen our child say his first words, It was Dada, I even cried when he said that, because I thought it was unfair, I carried him for 9 months and I'm jealous that those were his first words.

But I couldn't blame him either I always talked to him about you, how good of a person you were.

Love, you could've seen him when he first walk, when he goes on his first day in school, when he cried because I was crying too, not knowing you were the one I was crying about. You could've seen me grow.

You were wrong about me, I grew, I grew already. I did it. Even without you, I did it. The sleepless nights were all worth it because of this precious gift I will love and treasure forever.

I was wondering do you somehow think of me, do you miss our moments together? the times when we were happy? the times we spent together talking about random things, because I miss it so bad. I miss you so much. What did I do to deserve all of this?

Did the world hate me so much to let me experience those?

But don't you think it's unfair?

You were doing good, so so good, but me? I always feel like you left me, Am I really that easy to forget? Or maybe you thought I'm not even worth it that you gave up halfway?

Was I... tiring?

Does everyone think I'm a burden? Does my presence annoy you? Even my own father never liked me, my mother left me, they all... left... even you.

Did you...

love me?

But if you were in front of me right now, I'd not want you to answer that. I'd be okay believing a lie. Lies...at least it makes me feel good. I'm a fucking clown, right.

.