-Tyler x Aaron Z- Bringing Me Down

In this bittersweet now

My eyes fluttered open as I looked around the environment, I was in a car. My dad was driving while I sat in the back... what am I doing here? How did I get here?? I looked out of the window by me to see trees passing by, it was mid day. I listened to the song on the radio, it was dads favorite, he hummed to the lyrics while I nodded to the music slightly.

Try to hold the world they're sinking

Swimming in a paper cup

Try to own the one beneath the skin

Held up to the flame till singeing skin begins to draw and tuck

Never told there's a chance to win

What couldn't be, wouldn't be now

Swallowed the pill

Drank to the fill

All these things I carry now

In this bittersweet, in this bittersweet now

Bittersweet, oh, this bittersweet now

I looked at the review mirror to see my dads eyes glaring at me is he gonna hurt me? I start shaking in the back, please don't hurt me. He looked at me with worried eyes.

"Tyler, you okay?"

I started bursting into tears while he parked the car and got out. I felt comforting big arms around me, I miss the feeling of these arms around me. This was the dad that I missed and needed the most. "It's going to be fine" he hushed me while I weeped in his arms. I smiled at him. This was the dad that I loved the most.

In this bittersweet now

~

I woke up and got up quickly, sweat covering my face. It was hard to breath, tears prickled my eyes. I started crying, full on breakdown. I don't care if anyone hears me. I miss dad. The dad that used to carry me into the house when I was asleep, the one that made sure I was okay, the one that used to cheer me on during my basketball games, where was that dad now?
He lost himself in alcohol. The dad I once knew was gone. After mom died in that car crash he became a mess. Oh how much I miss him, how much I miss mom right now.

I remembered the first time he hit me.

I was in the kitchen doing the dishes, I dropped his favorite cup by accident and it shattered all over the floor in millions of pieces. He walked into the kitchen to see the scene. He walked over to me

"I'm sorry da-"

I was cut off with a slap against the face. The slap made me fall to the floor while I touch the spot where he slapped me. I cornered myself against the wall.

"You stupid faggot"

After that he didn't care about me. He doesn't know how much pain he had caused me, a lifetime filled with hurt. I cried at the memories of being beaten.

I started screaming

"MOM I MISS YOU" I held onto a 4 town shirt that which my mom used to wear. It smelled like her. I started crying into the shirt. Who do I talk to when I want to talk to you? I never knew that day would be the last day I seen you. I miss you so much, my heart aches in pain when I think of you. You made me who I am.

My mom introduced me to 4 town, I remembered the first song I heard. Nobody like U me and my mom listened to it on repeat until we mesmerized the lyrics. We were jumping on the bed.

"You're never not on my mind, oh my, oh my

I'm never not by your side, your side, your side

I'm never gon' let you cry, oh, cry, don't cry

I'll never not be your ride or die, alright"

I smiled at the memory, we were going to see them together but now we couldn't...

"I miss you mom..."

~

On my way to school today I decided to visit my mom, I brought her some flowers, she rested by a tree that which gave her shade. I sat down by the grave.

"Hey mom, I got you these" I placed the flowers on her grave.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited so often... But I'm here now so it's okay! And I'll tell you everything I promised!"

I wondered where to start at. Maybe with the concert.

"I went to see 4 town! They were amazing! I'm so glad that I worked hard at my job. I wished you were able to see them..." I frowned
"They had these weird wings and they started flying! And AARON Z PICKED ME UP! And he called me cute" I blushed at the memory.
"I used to bully these group of girls... I know it's bad that I did but I think we're friends now! But I'll make sure to apologize to them"

"Aaron Z. Gave me his number and I think he likes me, I know it's so amazing! He is so nice and incredible. I love him so much, my room has more posters and flags since the last time you seen it"

After thinking for a moment i decided to talk about dad.

"It's been hard for dad ever since you left... it's been hard on me too but he needs more help than me... he hits me... and he drinks all the time, I miss the old him but I don't know what to do... I wanted to go to college but I don't think I can stay long with dad unless he changes... I'm making enough money for me to buy a apartment and my job is good! I love the cafe but some people are rude, this one women threw her coffee at me and burned me... but don't worry I'm okay! She was forced to apologize or my boss would call her in. Some guys try to get my number too... some guys are cute but now I have Aaron and I love him and I'm hoping we could be something" I said blushing.

I looked at the time and I seen that I was late, i got up and kissed my hand and put it on the headstone...

"Bye mom, I gotta go... I promise I'll be back" I left with tears in my eyes...

I looked back and I swore I seen a familiar looking lady waving at me... I blinked and she was gone. I smiled and headed to school feelings a little less heavy hearted.

-

To be continued

July 1st, 2022

1099 words