My Little One | Spy X Family

One-Shot

"Calm down, Twilight," I think, taking a deep breath and clenching my fists to my sides as I close my eyes to focus.

I feel a cold breeze pass through, rustling the leaves of the countless trees around me.

The smell of freshly mown grass of this new park comes into my nose.

I hear the voices and squeals of children on the playground.

I press my eyes harder, trying to listen to a certain childish tone of voice among dozens of others.

A great affliction invades my chest when I realize that I can't find the voice I'm looking for.

"Calm down, Twilight," I think, swallowing hard.

No need to worry. Anya must be playing quietly in some sandbox, that's all.

I take several deep breaths, trying to slow my heartbeat. Finally, I open my eyes.

Okay. Take it easy, Twilight. Stop and think.

It's super common for kids to get lost from their parents on the playground.

Children are fast and silent. They can hide pretty easily.

I feel a chill all over my body.

But, they can also get lost pretty easily.

My steps, which before were slow and steady, are now fast and erratic.

I go to the swing. Anya's not there.

I go to the merry-go-round. Anya's not there.

I go to the slide. Anya's not there.

I go to the damn sandbox...

And Anya's not there either.

My stomach churns and a feeling of dread takes over my being.

I barely notice when I start shaking. My fingertips are cold.

I don't understand what's going on with me.

"Calm down, Twilight," I think. Analyze the situation.

Anya got lost. That's a fact now.

I look around. The playground of this new park is located next to a small wood with a hiking trail. Surely, Anya must've seen a squirrel and decided to follow it.

I run my hand over my face, in a mix of feelings of anger and anguish.

Why did she do that, huh?! How many times have I told her not to get out of sight?!

I take another deep breath, reminding myself that Anya is, just a child.

Still on the playground, I decide to appeal:

"Anya!" I exclaim, cupping my hands around my mouth.

Some kids and parents look at me, noticing that I'm speaking in a higher tone than normal, and I completely ignore them.

"Anya!!!" I try one more time.

Nothing.

I feel weakness in my legs and a chill down my spine.

I look at my hands and see that they're shaking.

What the heck is going on with me?!

Until recently, I would be relieved to have lost Anya, so I could get a smarter kid from some other orphanage and speed up Operation Strix.

But why, when I remember this kind of thought, do I feel a sort of aversion possessing me? Why do I feel repulsion for myself?

Yeah... I'm nothing but a hypocrite.