Why won't you love me?

Ch.1

Kokichi POV:

"Why can't you do anything right?!" Shuichi yells at me. Why is this happening? Why do you hate me so? Do I hurt you? Is my love not enough? Or are you ignoring my love for you? Just why won't you except me and only me? What must I do to make you love me? 

"Saihara-kun, everyone believes in the false hope you're creating for them." I try to reason with him. I reach for his hand, but he slaps it away.

"Are you trying to ruin the despair and love I'm getting?!" he yells. I take a step back. I'm doing all this for you... yet why can't you love me?

"Is my despair and love not good enough for you?" I ask, choking back tears. His right hand collides with my cheek, making me stumble to the ground. He looks down at me with the most twisted, sadistic look on his face. He crouches down and lifts my face up by squeezing my cheeks harshly. 

"Of course not. I need more love from my fans, and despair from everyone in the world." he says, "Do you think I honestly need you? You're worthless as it stands right now. There hasn't even been a murder yet! If you actually love me, do something about it!"

"Just give me some time! I can do it!" I say, tears finally starting to trickle down my face. His eyes become softer, and he smiles cruelly. 

"That's a good boy." he says. He lets go of my cheek and kneels to the ground, hugging me. He strokes my hair and whispers sweet nothings of promised love. I sob and hiccup into his warm, yet somehow cold, arms. 

"Now, do as I tell you from now on; and I promise you eternal love." he lies. I can already tell he's lying. He doesn't actually love me. No matter what I do, my feelings never reach him. But because of my love for him, my unwavering love for him, I want to do as he says. No, I will always do as he says. And suffer the consequences for it, all alone in this rotten world.

"Of course, Saihara-kun. I'll do whatever you wish." I reply. I wish so much that he would love me. Yet, wishing on a star is a children's story. It always has been, so why did I even start? Why did I start wishing on a star once I met Saihara-kun? Was I just that desperate? Or was it because I thought I was the princess he was going to marry? Shuichi smirks.

"Alright, now let's go to bed." he says. He gets up and grabs my arm, dragging me to his bed. "Get in."

I comply and get into the covers, him following after me. He holds me from behind as I face the wall and slowly nips my neck. He's insecure. He doesn't want me to leave. That's why he's doing this, right? Or is it just to trick me? Even though I try so hard to love him, I also try hard to let my love waver. Just for the purpose of finding out if he actually loves me or not. But my will to love him... hasn't wavered at all. It just keeps growing, and I continuously spiral down the path of love and despair.