The Bad Guys in All About Millicent

Quentin

As he cleaned up his workspace, Quentin noticed the Bad Guys with their trophy and realized how familiar one of them looked. He pulled out an old photo from his shirt pocket and noticed the similarities between Mr. Snake and the snake in the picture. Once he clocked out, Quentin attempted to follow the Bad Guys out the door, but they had already driven out of the parking lot and into the road.

“Hey, wait! Come back!" Quentin called out, even though it was pointless. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed it with his tail. “Hey, honey. I'm probably not gonna be home for a while. No, I didn't get offered a better job. Because most people don't wanna hire snakes, you know that! Tell Susie and Andy I love them. Bye."

“Excuse me, sir?" someone said. Quentin turned around to find Governor Diane Foxington. “Are you doing okay."

“Thanks for asking, Madam Governor," Quentin replied, “but, um... Say, do you know where I can find this guy?"

“Is that... Mr. Snake?" Diane asked herself as he showed her the photo. “Um, I can take you to him, if you'd like."

“Well, do you mind if I stop to rent a suit, first?" Quentin wondered. “This is kind of important and I want to look my best."

🐺🐍🕷️🦈🐟🐹🦊🐠🌹💍🥂🎇

That night, the Bad Guys put their trophy up on a shelf and celebrated.

“I told you guys we'd win," Wolf said proudly while he held their pet cat.

“Never doubted you for a second, buddy," Snake replied.

“And... Piranha's engaged!" Shark pointed out. “Congratulations, dude!"

“Thanks, hermanos!" Piranha said joyfully.

“To our victory and to Piranha and Gabi!" Wolf said, raising a glass.

“Hey, Webs, what's the matter?" Snake asked. “You've been awfully quiet."

Webs sighed. “I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about the future. I've known Piranha for years, we've been inseparable. What if... What if all that changes now that he's getting married?"

“I wouldn't be too worried," Snake assured her. “They're both still young and foolish, it'll probably end after just two or three years."

“Gee, that helps," Webs said sarcastically.

“Snake, did you just say Piranha and Gabi won't stay together?" Shark asked. “How could you say something like that?!"

“I'm just saying, sometimes what we want is just not meant to be," Snake pointed out. “You know, like us and the Golden Dolphin."

“That's an object, not a person," Webs pointed out.

“You know what I mean," Snake groaned. “Just because they make each other insanely happy doesn't mean they're made for each other."

“Hey, take it back, chico!" Piranha said threateningly.

“Or what?"

“Or this!" Piranha snarled, attacking him. Shark and Webs decided to join in on the action while Wolf just shook his head.

“Is this a bad time?" he heard a familiar voice say. “We could come back later."

“Oh, Diane, I wasn't expecting to see you," Wolf said. “Normally, you call us when we have an assignment."

“That's not why I'm here, Wolf," she assured him. “This gentleman just needed a ride."

“Uh... Hi, my name is Quentin," he greeted. “I'm here to see Mr. Snake."

“Uh, sure," Wolf said after putting the cat back down. “Hey, guys, stop fighting! We have a visitor."

“Visitor? We don't get visitors!" Snake pointed out, slithering towards Quentin. “What do you want?"

“Gee, I'm a little nervous," Quentin admitted, pulling on his tie. “What I'm trying to say is I, uh..."

“You what?" Snake asked. “Wanna sell me a watch? Read me scripture? Make me sign a petition? What is it?!"

“Mr. Snake, I'm your son!" Quentin blurted out, making Snake's jaw drop. The others gasped in disbelief.

“That's where I know you from!" Piranha realized. “You look just like Snake!"

“Well, uh... Do you guys wanna come in?" Wolf offered.

“Uh, sure. Thanks," Quentin replied, slithering into the hideout.

“Since you brought it up, though, there is something I need to talk to you about," Diane whispered. “There's been a lot of killings across town lately and I know it's not your style, but maybe you and the others can help figure out who's behind them."

“You can count on us," he promised her, taking her paws in his own.

Snake, meanwhile, was taking a good long look at the snake who claimed to be his son.

“What's your favorite food?" he asked suspiciously.

“What does that have to do with anything?" Quentin wondered.

“Just answer the question," Snake hissed.

“I don't know. Guinea pig?"

“Really?" Snake said. “They're not too cute for your taste?"

“Not at all," Quentin replied. “In fact, that's what makes them so delicious. Y'know, you're not just eating food..."

“You're eating pure goodness," Snake gasped.

“Exactly!" Quentin agreed. “It's not about the pig, it's about what it symbolizes..."

“On a deeper level!" they both said simultaneously.

“He is my son," Snake confirmed in awe.

“Dad!" Quentin exclaimed, hugging him with his coils.

“Um, Snake?" Wolf interrupted. “How did you have a son in the first place?"

“Oh, I'm glad you asked," Snake replied. “It was the 1980s. I drifted across the country, always hitchhiking on the backs of trucks when the drivers weren't looking. I also liked to cause trouble, such as when I crashed the eighteenth birthday party of Hailey Slithersen in New York. The rest of the guests despised me immediately, but it was love at first sight for us. Her parents didn't approve, so we made our romance secretive. We saw all the best movies, scared the patrons away... slithered around Central Park, scared the park-goers away... went to Coney Island, scared the visitors away... She was the best thing that ever happened to me... Until her parents had her sent away to who knows where. After that, I never heard from her again."

“That sounds awful!" Diane said.

Snake quickly decided to change the subject. “So, uh, Quentin, how's life been for you?"

“Quite a roller coaster," Quentin replied. “I sprung from the orphanage when I turned eighteen and never looked back. I eventually came here, where I met my wife of six years, and we now have a son and a daughter. I struggle to provide for them, but at least we're happy."

“Aww!" Shark cooed.

“That reminds me," Piranha said. “Diane, guess what? Gabi and I are engaged!"

“Really? That's strange," Diane admitted. “Not the engagement, just that she didn't call or text me about it. She always does when you take your relationship to a brand new level."

“Maybe she just got so happy, she forgot to say it," Wolf figured, but Webs didn't feel too convinced. To her, something felt fishy.

Which sounded funny, but she didn't mean it that way.

Happy birthday to Mr. Snake! (7/2/1965) 🎂