Hood love

Five

Yasaniy Bells
" alright sani I'll see on Friday girl " Jackie said as we walked to our cars

" ok girl I'll text you" getting in the car driving off

I stopping by the gas station to get some snacks before I headed home

As I'm in the isle I bump into someone but not just someone it was messiah

" oh snap my bad "

" ya good sani " I looked him and grabbed some chips and went to go pay for my stuff

Walking up to the cashier I hear behind me " ayo I got it just put her stuff wit mines "

I just looked up and said " I can pay for my own stuff messiah "

He look down at me and just smiled showing off his nice set of teeth

" oh so you do remember a nigga why you act like you can't speak "

I just grabbed my stuff and said thank you and walked away

I'm just trying to keep my distance I don't want no drama coming my way just for hanging around the Johnson brothers or even being seen with one of them

Getting into the car I see messiah come up so I rolled my window down to see what he had to say

" so you really not gonna speak Yasaniy it's like that "

" I guess so messiah "I said rolling my window back up and driving off

Pulling up to my house I see my momma passed out on the couch with the bottle I bought earlier in her hands

I just shook my head and headed up stairs walking passed Henry's room I stopped an knocked before walking in

" what you need Yasaniy "Henry said to me as I walked in

" Kesha said are going to be there for her first ultrasound for y'all baby " he looked at me like I had 2 heads before saying

" what baby ion got no baby wit that girl you needa get out and stay outta my business " I looked at him and rolled my eyes

" boy ain't nobody in ya business that girl came up to me and I was just telling you "

I said walking out his room " mmmh sure you was wit ya nosey ass " he said slamming his door  which then woke mama up

" Henry baby stop slamming doors in my damn house and where is ya fast ass sister at "

I shook my head and yelled back " I'm right here momma " after I didn't hear nothing I assumed she was sleeping again and I went to go take a shower

Getting in bed I look at my phone and seen I had a message on insta from messiah
BigM_Siah

Why you act like you can't talk Fr sani ?

Because ion want to

But I wanna talk to you  tho

For what tho ?

What A nigga can't check up on a friend now ?

                                    So now we are friends ?

Ma we been friends what you talking bout

I don't recall 🤨 since when

Since now and back when girl stop playing

Ain't nobody playin what you want Fr ?

Don't nobody want nun We just ain't speak in a long ass time 😒

Damn who's fault is that messiah ?

Not mine ma but Fr wassup wit you tho
Seen by itsyagirl_sani

I ignored the message and plugged my phone up and put some show on Netflix on and went to sleep I do not I have time for messiah anyways right now

With everything that's been going on with my mom an her constantly having to say something about me or compare to Milan

It starts to get tiring I've had my few attempts of suicide but didn't continue with them I didn't  know wether or not if they'd be sad or happy

And as in " they " I mean henry and my mother in my heart I want to believe that they'd be sad

But then again I want them to hurt in the worse way

It sounds bad but I want them to feel the pain and hurt that I've been going through since I was 5

I want Henry to suffer for not being a brother to me I want him to know it was also a traumatic experience for me too

I also had lost a sister

I want my mother know I was just a kid and that I needed to grieve also not be put down for something I had no control over

But what I want doesn't seem to matter so I'm doing what I can for myself so I can get out of this house and maybe one day visit Milan

Maybe tell her about my success that's if I make it to having my success