"Je t'aime Beau..." BUCKYBARNESXOC

|- chapter twenty one -|

I woke up alone in my bed. I sat up and looked around for Bucky but he wasn't in my room. I removed the covers off of my body and sat crossed legged on my bed. I ran my fingers through my hair again and decided that I most definitely needed to shower. I smelled really bad and just needed to feel fresh.
I then remembered about FRIDAY. I realised that I actually missed her voice so much.
"FRIDAY?" I called out.

How wonderful it is to hear your voice again Miss Walker.

"I've missed you too FRIDAY." I said.

Is there anything you need me for Miss Walker?

"Uhm, could you maybe start my shower for me?" I asked.

Of course. The usual one?

"Yes please." I answered.

A few moments later, I heard the shower begin to run. I slowly got out of my bed and walked to my bathroom.
When I got in, I removed my clothes until I was in my bra and underwear. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt a tear prick up in my eye. I could see every rib on my body and the toned abs I had on my stomach were gone. My face was completely thinned out and practically hollowed. I covered my mouth with my hand to let out a sob.

Miss Walker would you like me to get you Mr Barnes for you?

"Yes please." I whispered.

I leaned a hand against the sink to keep my balance as I let out another sob. I eventually went down to the floor so I could look away from myself.

Moments later, Bucky came rushing into my room and burst into the bathroom. He took one look at me and lifted me up onto the counter gently.
"It's okay Bell." He said softly as he took off the t-shirt he was wearing and kept an arm held onto me as he did it. He slowly unclipped my bra and removed it from my body as well as my underwear. There wasn't anything sexual about the act, it was fully out of care. He walked me into the shower and stopped when my head was fully immersed in the running water.
He slowly stroked my hair to let the water hit all of it. All I did was keep my eyes on him and held a tight grip on his flesh arm.
"Good job Beau, i'm so proud of you." he said softly.

He slowly washed my hair and never let go of me once. He washed my body and turned off the shower. He wrapped me in a towel and sat me on the counter.
"Stay there until I get you some clothes. I'll be right back." He said. He gave me a quick kiss before he left the bathroom.

He came back through quickly with a pair of sweatpants, a sweater and a new pair of underwear. He dried me off and put my underwear and sweatpants on. He also placed my sweater over my head and let me snake my arms through the holes.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a genuine tone in his voice. I nodded.
"Yes." I said quietly. "Thank you."
He smiled and pulled hair away from my face.
"I would do it again for you in a heartbeat." He said before he kissed my forehead. He rested his chin on the top of my head.
"I... I love you." He said. I looked up at me with shock. His face slightly fell when I didn't say anything back. I was still in shock. Surely it was too early for anything like that. I mean, yes. He was so much more different to the other guys I had dated. There was no connection with them, but with Bucky, there's something there. Something different.
"You don't have to say it back yet. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I did love you." He explained. "I'll still love you even if you don't love me."
I smiled and reached forward to hug him.
"Thank you." I said. He hugged me back and lifted me off of the counter and I put my feet on the floor.
"We need you to get some food." He said. "Tony's made coffee and Peter's downstairs waiting for you."

Bucky walked me out of my room and never let go of my hand. Once we got to the stairs, he let go of my hand and let me walk by myself. I got to the bottom and walked into the kitchen.

Before I had even entered the kitchen, Peter was already walking towards the door with open arms. He engulfed me into a hug and swayed side to side. I felt a rush of enlightenment as he made impact.
"I'm so glad you're okay." He said. I hugged him back and smiled softly.
"Me too." Tony added, breaking Peter and I apart. "Can I chat to Annabel alone please?" He asked the two other men. They nodded and slowly made their way out of the room.

Tony led me to a stool that was by the breakfast bar. He poured me a cup of coffee and pushed over a doughnut on a plate with yellow and red sprinkles.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for not finding you sooner. I should've been able to have found you weeks before I actually did." He said with pain and guilt emitting from him. I placed a hand on his and got him to focus on me.
"It's okay Tony. I'm alive and that's all that matters." I said reassuringly. "You found me when you found me. Yes it could've been earlier, but it wasn't. You couldn't stop that. I am glad you found me a few days ago or else I'd most likely be dead."
Tony walked around the bar and gave me a hug.
"I just wanted to let you know." He said. He let me go and let me eat the doughnut.

"So how are you and Barnabus?" Tony asked before he took a big gulp of his coffee.
"By Barnabus I'm assuming you mean Bucky?" I asked. Tony nodded.
"Yeah we're good. I really like him." I answered before taking a bite of the doughnut.
"I'm glad you do. He's done something for you. Something good." Tony replied. "He's mentioned that he likes you too... and what happened in Scotland." He added. I choked on my doughnut and coughed to clear my throat.
"Uhm, what did he say exactly?" I asked.
"Well, he mentioned that you guys kissed, went on dates and slept in the same bed." He answered. I let out the breath that I didn't realise I was holding and quickly finished my doughnut and coffee. I stood up from the breakfast bar and walked out of the kitchen, smiling at Tony before I went upstairs.

I went into my room and saw Bucky making my bed and making it look nice. He was very concentrated on the preciseness of each pillow.

"Now which pillow does she like to sleep on?" He thought as he looked at two pillows. One fluffy and one flat.
"I think it's.... this one." He thought as he put the fluffy one on top of the flat one. The way I liked it. I smiled and wrapped my arm around the back of his waist. He jumped a little before shuffling himself around to face me.

"I didn't hear you come in." He said.
"I thought I'd watch you choose my order of pillows." I answered. "That's the way I like it by the way." I added before kissing him quickly.
"Oh good." He replied, holding me closer.

I felt the same feeling from Bucky again. The happy, giddy feeling that I felt earlier on. I loved that feeling. Maybe that's what love felt like. Just the everlasting care for a person.

I looked up at Bucky with a soft smile. He looked at me too and asked
"What?"

"I love you too James." I said before cuddling back into him.