'I Don't Care If You're Contagious' BoyxBoy

'I Don't Care If You're Contagious' 14

It seemed forever that he walking, the whole world in his eyes was different now. Just like the moment he had on the balcony when he attempted to die the first time, except this time Ash could feel it in the air…deep down it was his time. He walked past cars and smiling people, everyone unfazed by this strange boy barely standing. Someone who just had there soul snatched away and torn into two.

Ash skimmed a brick building with his finger tips smiling up at the trees he was almost there, through his tears and blurry vision the sky was dull and gray but even though beautiful soft snow flakes were just starting to fall.  Ash forced a laugh, but the laugh turned into another sob.  He felt horrible, like the life was sucked out along with his heart. A sort of feeling that you can’t really name and all you want to do is scream.

 He was just a frail thing walking along the street sobbing; he knew what he did was stupid. Wasn’t admitting your problems suppose to make you feel better? Maybe it was look Nathan gave him when he confessed to killing people, for admitting that he was a monster. Or maybe it was the fact Nathan never said he loved him back to, Ash knew he really did love him. Nathan was everything that Ash wish he was, Nathan could give love and happiness he had a way of spreading it to Ash and making him feel alive for once in his miserable life… but now that was gone.

The sounds of cars whizzing by fast drifted in air, he smiled he was close to the old bridge.  Ash stopped a block away from the bridge and pulled out a small green bottle from his pocket, he could still feel the alcohol in his veins and swimming his mind distorting any mean sense of logic. But that still wasn’t enough for him to gather enough balls to jump, he needed more.

‘ pop’

Ash quickly dumped the bitter blue Zoloft pills in his mouth, just to chew the things was an effort for him. There was 73 pills in his mouth, 73 little blue guys being crushed and entering his system this very minute. They’d go into his blood stream and into his heart then rush to his mind. Whisper sweet lies and encourage him to keep walking, to get up on that railing and in one little step forward everything would be okay. He kept chewing till the powder substance was stuck to the roof of his mouth and all 73 guys were now working there magic, Ash took a step forward but the ground seemed far away. He inhaled a big breath letting a cold chill chase up his spine Ash shivered with it and closed his eyes, the world was swimming around him now and the sounds of cars invaded his mind. He could feel every little snow flake in his hair and on his face, the rush of air that flying past his ears.

He kept walking though forcing his suddenly long legs to move through the slow motions. Ash knew the drugs were full on affect and he’d have to hurry before he died of an over dose on the streets.

Ash quickly turned a corner that led to the bridge that went over the free way. It was hard to focus since the bridge seemed far, but the things in his mind told him to keep going so he did moving swiftly he reached the old rusting fence that separated him from the ground below. He pressed his hot face against the cool rusted fence and looked down catching his breathe, the drop seemed long and forever. He watched the beautiful lights disappear and come back, they seemed like they were flying fast, hundreds and hundreds of beautiful lights and all he knew is he wanted to be like them to.

Ash smiled and felt tears coming down his face, this was it, it was his time. No more hurt, the pain would be gone. Ash climbed the fence till he reached the top, then started leaning forward feeling the old fence sway with him to. He could feel the blood rushing his veins, hear his heart hammer in his ears. He took one last look at the ugly greying sky before finally closing his eyes and putting all his weight forward and right before he was falling he thought he heard name being shouted, and swore it sounded like Nathan.

I’m sorry, your to late

Was the last thought that went through his mind as the sounds of traffic below came closer and the air around him picked up speed.