Didn't mean to (z.m)

01

"It hurts, but I'll be okay, I always am"

Zayn

There he laid, on his plain white sheets, wearing his plain grey sweatpants, smoking a plain old cigarette, staring at the plain ceiling, having the same thought he always had in his mind 'why?'

That was the same plain old word that he had been repeating in his head since almost forever

"Why me?" He spoke his thoughts out loud "why is it always my fault?"

He was always blamed for everything, everything was always his fault.
The band breaking up,
Yolanda accusing him,
Losing his best friend,
Losing the love of his life,
Getting an eating disorder,
And so so much more...
Why did he always fuck everything up?

For fucks sake, he wasn't even straight but he had been sleeping with girls since forever just to keep his thoughts away from him, cause they were done, Zayn had the ability to change that, but his pride and ego held him away from going back to the only person who had ever truly felt like home.

He hated him, but he really didn't. He missed him so damn much, but was he ever gonna show it?

No.

At the end of the day, it wouldn't even matter whether he apologized or not, he had messed up things far behind fixing.

Everyone was gone, he had lost every single person, including himself

...

And nobody was to blame except himself

****************************************************************

Hello everyone, you guys haven't heard of me in a while

I apologize for that, I've been dealing with a lot of things right now.

Honestly, I have no idea why I felt the need to write this book. But I did, I feel like Zayn is being blamed for so many things that clearly aren't his fault. Just bear with me, it might take me a while to make the next chapter, but I promise it will come.

Thank you for reading, have a good day :)