Champagne, Cigars & Southern Nights

Over this Shit

It's been a week since my fight with my mom and any communication has been through my poor dad. I have dinner with Miller and his parents later this week  and I'm dreading it. Miller has barely put in any effort into our relationship lately and he has the nerve to be pressuring me to talk about an engagement. I don't even know if I love him but honestly I'm not surprised by his behavior. It's been an ongoing power struggle the last few months.

Thankfully pops is back in town and he and I are meeting for breakfast at our favorite daddy-daughter spot. I run to wrap my arms around my father the second I see him. A sense of peace and home washes over me as he embraces me.

"Hey sweatpea, I missed you too." He places a kiss on my head.

"Hi pops". I link my arms with him and guide us to our designated table.

"I've missed you so much. But how was your conference?"

"It was great. The organizers executed it well and I've actually been offered a guest lecture spot here at the university."

"Really?!"

"Yes." He sips his coffee and pauses and I know what's about to happen.

"Camille". I don't make eye contact afraid of what emotions this conversation is going to bring to the forefront. I'll be the first to admit that I've been cowardly when it comes to confrontations with Cecilia. I thought it was easier to agree for the sake of my father, hell even for myself. I see now that denial has not been the best approach.

"Camille, he places his hand on mine that has been stirring this coffee for the last three minutes. I feel like I owe you an apology."

"Pops, why would you ever need to apologize?"

"Because maybe if I was here more, I could have put a better stop to it." He takes a long sigh. "You know at first I thought it was just typical mother daughter arguments but then I saw how pushy and controlling she was becoming and I was in shock."

"Pops, this isn't your fault and I don't blame you. I hate that you have been put in the middle of this war. Deep down, I hold on to hope that maybe one day, she and I will have a great relationship. That maybe one day she will be proud of me and all my accomplishments."

"I do too. It makes me sad because I don't recognize your mother any more. When I met her, she was so driven and focused, much like yourself."

I almost choke on the bite in my mouth off that statement. "Please explain."

"I met your mother the summer before my first year of law school. I was at the country club with friends and thought she was stunning but she looked very unapproachable." I can definitely see that but I don't bother to interrupt.

"So I walked over and invited her and her friends to my summer kick off party. She came and at the time said she wasn't ready to date because she had recently ended a relationship. Of course I understood and told her I would love to get coffee with her in the future. Fast forward to Christmas break, we ran into each other, went for coffee, spent every day of our break together and never looked back."

Silence falls upon the table as I digest this revelation. I could see the pain in my father's eyes as he talked about a woman who is near yet so far away.

"I believed that this move was right for our family. I expected us to grow not just stronger financially but mentally and physically..."

I quickly interject. This is not his fault and I wouldn't let him carry this weight. I take his hand this time for reassurance. "Pops, you are an amazing amazing father. You have been my biggest cheerleader and someone who loves me unconditionally. I don't blame you for my relationship with mom. You have provided a life that she and I could have never imagined. This move afforded me this best education and the best friends and all that  would not have happened if we stayed in Texas."