The shadows

Hospital

*my note* i hope the other chapter wasn't too fast for you my muffins.... it sped by for me ;)

Uhhhh.... My head... i hurts like hell...... i decided to try and ask a question, and see if anyone was with me... i can't hear a fricking thing....

"mufff...." well... i decided to try again.

"wer va hel am i...."  i almost had it, i thought to my self. one more go should do it...

"where the hell am i??"

I didn't hear a reply  so i waited patiently... in the end i got frustrated and tried to pry open my eyes.

i peeped out from under my eyelid... all i could see is white so i shut my eyes quickly.... it hurts like a b- i swear i heard something... i listened more intently.. nothing.

my head started pounding... what the hell....

i started to groan " fffuuuc-"i suddenly i was interrupted by a shrill voice... a woman's .... like she had been upset and was angry at something, or someone...

"I know what you were about to say, i thought i brought you up to be better than that?!!!!???!!!"

I flinched..her voice felt like she was driving a million squirrels with jack hammers to open up nuts...

thinking about nuts.... im hungry...

"what happened?" I asked

"You started to scream at the wall, darling. Then you got milk all over the floor AND you blacked out like you had seen a ghost."

Her voice is killing me.... i just wanted to scream at her to shut up, but i was stupid and had asked the blooming question in the first place.

I turned over and pulled the pillow over my head. It stank of hospitals... and then it hit me. I was in a hospital. For people who are ill. It was the shadow who had done this to me... I'm sure.

I then remembered what had occurred the last time i was awake... what day is it? Am i dreaming? Am i crazy? am i even alive for gods sake?? Why does life have so many question yet almost always never have the answers??

"im hungrrryyyyy......." i moaned  "where is the foooooddd??"

 "You're in hospital and the only thing you can thin about is food"  Shut up.... 

"Well yea, i have been here for ages" i retorted. If it wasn't for this blinding light, i would have rolled my eyes.

"Goodness, how selfish can you get? We were worried sick about you!!!" Goddammit please shut you're pie hole.....

"Im not the one being selfish, im the one in the hospital bed" OK that came out a lot bitchier than i expected.

"Oh, ok, sorry. I didnt mean to be so ... umm yeah, i will go then"  Crap that was cold...

"What no, no dont go please, im sorry. That came out a lot nastier than i wanted it to be"

She smiled and put her hand on my hand, squezing it a little, reassuring me. 

"Its going to be ok, you know? And we can be that happy family i know you have always wanted."

"I love you, i know you are not my real mum, but you compleate me like one." Oh no... I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh darling-" And she began to cry, i could feel her tears soaking my arm, as she rested her forehead against me. This only just caused me to bawl along with her. She is such an amazing person, such an insparation. I'm such an ass, i never treat her with the right amount of love that i know i should do really. Im always iscolated, or getting pushed around by the shadows.

 

My life is so messed up.