Hozuki's Shadow--Hozuki x reader (Hoozuki no Reitetsu)

Chapter 3

"Hell is understaffed again..."

(F/N) looked up from her work to find Hozuki sitting in his chair, glaring down at the papers he was reading.

"Aren't we always understaffed?" she asked, crossing the room to sit perched on the corner of his desk. He looked up at her, and propped his chin in his hand.

"True..." he muttered. "I was just thinking it's time for us to send out another recruitment campaign..."

"Yeah, but those things only solve the issue temporarily, don't you think?"

Hozuki glanced up at her. "What are you suggesting?"

"Well..." (F/N) tapped her chin with a pen, a bright grin on her face. "Rather than market to adults, who are already set in their ways, why don't we try to ignite interest in children, instead?"

Hozuki narrowed his eyes. "Hmm...that's actually a good suggestion. Very well, then, I'll arrange for—"

"Actually—" (F/N) leapt to her feet. "If you don't mind, I'd actually like to handle this one myself!"

Hozuki hesitated, and leaned back in his seat.

"Well, of course I don't mind," he said, "but I'm curious as to why you wouldn't want me to handle it."

"It's because you're an evil bastard, and the last time you spoke at a school, all the children cried and wet themselves."

At that, his gaze hardened, and he turned back to the papers on his desk.

"Those children were weak," he muttered. "If they cry at images of the dead burning in Avici Hell, they are not suited to becoming Hell Minions."

"They were in elementary school, and with all due respect, I don't think you're a very good judge of what's normal for a child."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Well..."

~o0o~

Subject: Hozuki

Age: small child

"It seems I've finally managed to do it."

(F/N) looked up at the sound of Hozuki's voice. He sat on the other side of the clearing where they liked to play, looking up at a large box with several swords stuck through it.

"Um...Hozuki-kun..." (F/N) mumbled, "that looks disturbingly human-sized."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Hozuki assured her, "The dead person inside is miraculously unharmed—"

A man fell out of the box, a sword through his head, and (F/N) screamed.

"Huh," Hozuki muttered. "That's strange. It should have worked. Oh, well. He was dead, anyway."

"Hozuki-kun, you are a monster! I hate you!"

~o0o~

Subject: Hozuki

Age: Slightly less-small child

"Hozuki-kun, I'm home."

When (F/N) stepped through the threshold of their home, a pleasant smell greeted her nose.

"What's that?" she asked, following the smell. "Are you cooking something? That's unusual. What are you cooking—"

(F/N) froze. There, in the middle of the floor, was a dead man missing half his head, and Hozuki, looking completely unconcerned.