Becoming her

Growing up being told "you're not good enough" or "you're ugly" at a young age picks at a little one's mind so much that you refuse to believe anything else. You will always be the weak ugly girl to everyone, at least that's what I thought. Until puberty. Puberty changed everything for me. Suddenly I was beautiful in everyone's eyes, I was no longer the girl who- during the playground games- people would dare to ask out. I was no longer the girl who sat there and let her "friends" belittle her. I was finally her..but it did not make my life any easier.

It all started when the ground shifted from underneath my feet.

6th grade

I always knew who I wanted to be. I was just afraid of taking up too much space. But this move, this lifestyle change was exactly what I needed to be me. No one knew who I was so I could be anyone.

"Lioana hurry up you're going to make all of us late" My sister screamed

"Coming!"

.............

The first day of school is always a test, especially when you are new. So everything had to be perfect. My hair, My uniform, even my shoes.

If I learned anything from years of bullying is that it's hard to shake a title once you have it.

RINGGGGG

"Everybody take your seats"

"Hi, can we sit here?"

I look up and see two girls. They looked like best friends, hooked to each other's waist. The one that spoke was darker and seemed more confident. While the other girl was quietly behind her.

"Yeah sure."

I move my backpack over.

"Okay I am Mr. Carmen but please just call me Mr C. Before we get started I would like to do an activity to get to know everyone. You have two options, either one by one you stand up and introduce yourself or you can talk among your groups but I will be asking questions."

"Groups! Groups!"

"You have 10 Minutes"

The darker one turns to me and smiles.

"My names Kaia and this is Ivy"

"I'm lioana"

"So Lioana what elementary school did you go to?"

"Not anywhere near here. I'm new to this state got here a few weeks ago"

"Why here of all places" she chuckles

"Not by choice I have family here" lets change this topic before she finds out more

"How long have you guys been friends?"

"Forever we basically known each other our whole lives"

"Omg Kaia! I missed you" she pauses "Whos your friend?"

"This is lioana I'm thinking of inviting her to the sleepover"

"Oh okay well I'm Julia"

this feels different. suddenly i'm..liked?

"What do you say? My place this friday?"

mentally I'm freaking out. "Yeah sure let me give you my number"

"Alright class let get into it."

........