'FREAKS' || Eddie Munson

0 - A Eulogy I Shouldn't Have Written

I shouldn't be standing here. I shouldn't even be crying right now. This isn't what was supposed to happen. We were supposed to save the world and come home, together. It was supposed to be your year. 

Yet I am the one still standing here, hugging your leather jacket close to my chest. One of the last things I have of you.

I sighed and wiped my eyes before putting the leather jacket on, it clung loosely on my shoulders, It looked like I was swimming in it almost, you always loved that. A small smile spread across my face as I thought of your laugh again, god what I'd do just to hear it one more time. I took a once over of myself in the mirror before walking out of what was your bedroom. Since that day I don't think I've actively left this place. As it is Robin and Steve had to practically drag me out of bed today for your funeral. I told Dustin we should have just left it, let you rest peacefully. You wouldn't have wanted a funeral, that would have been conforming, and you couldn't stand that. 

I stepped outside and shivered as the early morning spring air hit my legs. I couldn't even make it all the way down the stair before Robin pulled me in for a bear hug. 

"I know it's hard for you, but Steve and I are proud that you made it out for this. It won't be an easy day, but we are here for you." She said as she held me tightly. I pursed my lips and pulled back from her hug.

"Thanks Robin, it does mean a lot to me that you guys will be there too. As much as I don't want to do this, maybe it'll be good." I smiled gently before walking alongside Robin. I slunk into the backseat of Steve's burgundy BMW and leaned my head on the window as we drove away.

The whole drive I fiddled with the zipper on your jacket as I listened to Robin ramble on about her volunteer time with Vickie. Steve occasionally shot me sympathetic looks through his rear-view mirror as we drove through the now mostly deserted town. 

I was surprised to see so many people turn up for your funeral, not a lot of people liked us, and most of the town thought you were a murderer. Obviously they were wrong, I just wish they could have known the you that I knew. Once Steve found a spot to park, I stepped out of the car and walked up to Dustin.

"So many people here," I whispered to him, poor kid's face was just as red as mine had been since you died. I gave him a small smile and pulled him in for a gentle hug as he started to cry again. "Hey, come on, at least we are here together, two of the people who were closest to him. We get to tell the good stories and keep his memory with us. I know that doesn't bring him back, but it's all we got." I said softly as I pulled away to wipe his eyes.

"You're right," Dustin sniffled. "Have you got your eulogy prepared? You're the best person to give it, especially with all these people here."

"Yeah I got it in my pocket. I still can't believe we're doing this. We shouldn't be here, we should be hanging out celebrating our win with everyone." I felt tears well up in my eyes, Dustin didn't say a word, he just put his hand on my arm in a comforting manner, letting me know he agreed. We eventually joined everyone as your ceremony started. There was no coffin, no plot, just a wooden cross shoved in the ground. Of course we buried you, but we weren't going to do that here, you deserved a special spot, away from Hawkins.

I sat for far too long, listening to people bullshit stories about you. Most of them faked nicety only because you were still a casualty, but they had no right to tell fake stories and make up lies about you. They'd already done that while you were alive, nothing had changed there.

After a moment of silence I stood from my seat, shaking, and made my way to the podium, looking out at the small crowd. I felt angry. Most of these people shouldn't even be here. As I looked down at the crumpled up paper in my hand, I felt a sudden warmth come over me. Almost as if someone was hugging me. A small tear escaped my eyes, I knew it was you. I don't know how, but in this crazy time, I just knew it was you, you made it easier.