My Wife Is A Zombie

Chapter 3 : Incoming Danger

1999, you are doing a solo mission, walking around in the dangerous areas that zombies roam every day.

Why? You may ask.

It all started 2 weeks ago… The United States worked with Anti Entropy and sent some of the troops to exterminate zombies in a town, in order to reclaim it.

The mission was going well and smooth, with very few casualties. You, as always, chop the zombies' heads off like you were cutting off fruits easily.

Even the Honkai beasts, Archangels to be specific, were no match against your blade.

You stumbled across a pile of zombies' corpses in a house, and your attention directed to a female zombie that was already dead, on the floor, but her underwear was exposed to your naked eyes.

You didn't even pretend to be surprised, because no matter how hot a girl may be, your pp won't act up.

But that time, it was different. Your pp rises for a bit.

The fuck bro that's sick, dead people? Seriously?

"UWAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

You screamed, not knowing if you should be happy or terrified because your pp finally rises after all these years.

"WHAT'S WRONG Y/N? IS THERE A MONSTER NEARBY?"

Your friends immediately come to your aid, you almost told them about that fact your pp rises, but instead, they might judge you over that fact.

I mean get your pp rises at normal girls? Normal bro, but, dead bodies? That's sick asf.

"Ahh- nothing at all don't worry ahahaha!! I saw some big ass spiders around and got freaked out ahahaha!!!" - You lied naturally as you breathed.

"Well we'll clean this town up, stack the bodies up in the corn field, we'll burn them all." - The commander in charge of this operation ordered.

"Ah…" - You hesitated, had to move these bodies around, and you didn't know how, but ever since your pp rose at dead bodies for the first time, it felt like it rose every time you see a female corpse.

Shit i'm a sick bastard now, this is even worse than tax evasion.

"Uhm… What can I help you with?" - The nun in the confession asked, after a minute of you keeping silent.

Just last Sunday you went to a church, in order to hope God will cleanse your sins.

I'm sorry bro but Will of Honkai is not available right now, please try again in the next life.

"I would like to confess that I committed a great sin and I couldn't get it out of my head."

"Ah, you don't have to worry, as you as you're willing to give up the will to commit the sin again, and offer your soul to the go-"

"I got erected at dead bodies." - You proposed your sin.

"Sir, what you need isn't a confession, you need to meet God himself."

End of flashback. Yeah you couldn't hold the urge back inside, you decided to make it out with a zombie girl and release everything you've kept in for the last few years.

"Ah… HERE I COME!!!!!!!! UWWOOOO!!!!!" - You yelled like a Monke while running into an abandoned city.

Of course you attracted zombies but most of them are males, female ones are impossible to approach, you looked down on them disappointed, letting out a long sigh as you're sitting on a truck.

Attempting to get girls in the city failed, so you decided to go to the small villages.

Strange, this small village doesn't have any zombies, the road looks clear, as if there's someone living here.

But this area is still marked as a dangerous zone, there shouldn't be anyone living here at all.

The deeper you go into this village, the creepier it gets, as if you're walking into something horrifying to yourself… Like walking into a place where you are forced to pay taxes.

But no, it's even worse than paying taxes, and yes it's a spoiler.

"Ah, so you decided to come for us, after all these years…" - A female's voice appeared behind you, from a small house that looked strangely clean.

You slowly turned back after hearing the woman's voice, but it's so dramatic, what kind of woman is living here? What does she mean by you coming after her? "Us"? Is there anyone else? Everything is decided when you turn your head back, more like, when you step into this village.

You also hear a little kid's voice, being hyped, you're halfway there, you're seeing the light from the house, something's smelling nice, like someone cooked a very good meal.

"Nero, look. It's your father."

You turned back to see a woman, holding a little boy with white hair on her arms, the scariest thing is, she has a helmet on her head.

Which you recognized almost instantly.

Right, now you realize it. You have to pay the child support. Because it's your child, and the girl is the zombie you had brutal segs with many years ago.

Why the fuck is she standing there as a human?

What is this "Okaeri anata" vibe?

Why the fuck is the child named Nero?

We shall know the answers in the next Chapter.

The end of this chapter.

God please forgive me, I swear it was my imagination not me.