The Bouquet and Hockey Stick

Prolog

January 2020

A Tuesday like no other. Talking about the new subjects and playing the eldest game, besides our Religion teacher, chess. 

One of my good friends, Lucy, put my king in check. I moved my king out of the way. She slowly realized that not a single move she can make will improve her position.

"This game's hard" she said and I nodded my head in agreement, still thinking how to win quickly. It wasn't that hard to figure it out. It was checkmate in three moves.

"Knight takes pawn. Your king moves out of the way. I sacrifice my Queen. Knight has to take the queen and bishop moves here, Checkmate."

Lucy looked at the board for a second, shrugged and shook my hand.
"Good game, Adam." she stated.
"You played well, Luck."

I went to rearrange the pieces for another game, thinking about that game with Lucy, when I heard someone behind me.

"Hi" said someone. I turned around to see a guy with short dark hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile on his face.

"Oh Hi Mike!" Micheal Fint, a hockey player for the local team. He's a nice guy and a window into my old school.

"Want to play a game?" I asked him with a gentle grin. He declined and sat down next to me, our knees almost touching.

"Well, you probably came here for something," I said a little bit harshly, "So what is it?" He looked at me with a smile on his face. "Martin just wanted to say 'Hi' again, that's all." Still smiling, I wouldn't be suprised if his face sometimes hurt from it.

I sighed, remembering the not so past times. The good times, but not great times. Mike was that type of guy who tried to cheer you up at any moment in time. "Thanks, tell him I say hi back again." He nodded and went back from where he came from.

Lucy just finished preparing her books for the next lesson and wanted to chat for a bit before it started. "What did he want?" She asked. "Oh nothing! Just a greeting from my old school." I replied with haste, so she wouldn't have much time to think about it.

This was a regular occurrence for the year until the lockdown. I still think about it.

August 2020

It's hot. The sun is shining through the blinds into my room, into my face as I'm sitting in my chair and reflecting about everything that happened that year. 

Making a model of the solar system, talking with Mike, lockdown, roleplay in the Board games club, etc. and for the last one, I was preparing to end it by a long letter of calming things down, as neither of the members wanted another revolution and elections. As I was writing, I glanced at our class photo. Seeing Mike and myself next to eachother made a small smile on my face, realizing what I was thinking about, I slapped myself and groaned.

"What am I thinking, I should be writing." Getting back to work, still with Mike on my mind. I couldn't focus on the letter. So many thoughts were roaming in my head. 

"Why would he be nice to me? I don't even know him. Did Martin asked him to do that, or is he just a nice guy? Why does he have such a cute smile? Wait what am I thinking! I'm not into boys, right? I guess I did have something similar with another boy at my old school, but that doesn't prove anything." All those things were on my mind, I didn't ask for them, but they came anyway.

Murmuring against my hand, I slapped myself mentaly and again tried to write, but to no avail. "Does he like me too? Is he even gay? I can't tell, maybe. He wouldn't smile like that if he didn't. Oh his smile, I would melt if I saw him right now." As the thought left my mind I stood up from my chair, put my hands on my face and stroled around my room for a couple of minutes, thinking.

I layed on my bed after that, realizing and finally saying to myself. "I'm gay."