mess it up, conrad fisher

chapter one: when belly meets lena

MILENA EVANS would have to either be on her deathbed or plastered to have admitted her feelings for Conrad Fisher.

And it wasn't because she hated him but because for her second semester of high school in Cousin's he was one of her only friends. All because she jumped into a relationship during her first month there only for it to end horribly on her behalf.

It was a rocky relationship and the majority of the dates she went on with her boyfriend at the time, Will Sommars, ended in her holding back tears till she made it inside her house. 

When they finally broke up, it threw Milena into a spiral mentally but there was one person there the whole time. Conrad.

They spent the second semester hanging out every day, even on weekends. Before they knew it they were having weekly dinners with one another's family and Milena was welcome over even if Conrad wasn't there. It was a nice thing they had going on. If she told Conrad she liked him, she knew it would ruin things seeing as it was obvious the feelings were unrequited. 

The Fisher family had been anticipating the Conklin's arrival and Milena had heard all about it in the countless times she was over there. She was looking forward to it if she was being honest. The thought of having more people she could comfortably talk to made her excited for the summer and from the way Susannah described the family it sounded like they'd be just like the Fisher's.

It had been a week since school ended and nothing much had changed. It was basically her weekends every single day. She'd spend her morning helping out at her family's cafe which sat right on a boardwalk.

The place quickly became a Cousin's staple and it was pretty much always packed so in the school year Milena had made a routine of going in on Saturdays to interact with customers.

After she had stopped by that morning she found herself in her room with her guitar, one of her preferred activities. She had always loved writing but over the course of the year she had actually started to see it going somewhere and she was just waiting for the chance to be able to play her music.

Well if she could work up the courage to perform.

She stared at her notebook lying on her bed in front of her as she studied the words she had written for her song entitled Feels Like. It was one she knew wouldn't be shared, it was too personal. It was about Conrad so how could she ever share it? He'd think she was crazy and then there goes her only friend. 

Of course, her overthinking constantly got the best of her and her various appointments with her therapist didn't help, it got to a point where Milena just stopped going.

Milena set her guitar back on its stand before turning to look in the mirror. She evened out the bows holding her two braids in place and ran her hands over her outfit, smoothing it out. She was wearing denim shorts with a Phoebe Bridgers tour tee from when she saw her live in 2018. The shirt had wrinkled slightly from the guitar being on her lap.

After sliding her blue Converse on she ran down the stairs, grabbing her dad's car keys on the front table before saying a quick goodbye and shutting the door behind her. Conrad had texted her earlier that day for her to come over that night so of course that's where she was headed.

On the drive over she had 1989 by Taylor Swift on shuffle, it was one of her go-to albums in the summer and it set the mood as she drove towards the sunset in the direction of the Fisher house.

When she pulled up into the driveway the first thing she noticed was the unfamiliar minivan in the driveway which she had assumed belonged to the Conklin family.

She approached the front door and knocked, despite Conrad and her being so close she hated just intruding. 

"How many times do I have to tell you there's no need to knock?" Susannah questioned as she opened the doors.