I Guess I Am Stuck With You (and other One Shots)

How To Figure Out The Mysterious Edward Kaspbrak

Working in one of the most respectable insurance firms in LA for one of the top Risk Analysts for two years could be daunting. What made it more daunting was that Alice knew nothing about her boss, despite working with him for two years. All she knew was that his name was Edward Kaspbrak, he had photos on his desk but nobody could really see them from the angle they're at, he seemed to be married as shown by the two rings on his right hand—which confused Alice a little as the ring tended to be on the left hand—but she wasn't going to correct her senior. Alice was a little intimidated by Edward, as were many of the other co-workers, except Sharon. Sharon and Edward transferred to this firm from New York together so Alice guessed they were already close. Edward was around average height, with fluffy brunette hair, big brown eyes, and he was always wearing an expensive suit, complete with a brown brief case and watch. He liked to be clean shaven, rarely coming in with stubble, and he liked everything neat and precise and on time! Sharon seemed to be his complete opposite, which confused Alice. She was tall, always wore dresses with crazy patterns or bright colours, and was loud, very loud. She had bright blue eyes, curly brunette hair and always wore a smile when she gushed about being married to famous comedian and ex-SNL cast member Sandy Weekes, who had previously dated Alice's girlfriends favourite comedian Richie Tozier before they had both come out as gay. Like Edward, Sharon wore her ring on her right finger. They were an odd match. Alice knew almost everything about Sharon and almost nothing about Edward.

Alice looks up from her desk as a man enters the office. He's tall, with brunette curls and brown eyes, and he's wearing a yellow turtleneck with black pants. He's carrying a Walmart bag in his hand and he smiles when he reaches Alice's desk. She just blinks up at him. He looks like Ross Tozier, younger brother of Richie Tozier, but that couldn't be possible whatsoever. That was a crazy thought to be having. Alice smiles at him politely and glances to Sofia, who isn't paying attention, too busy typing up a draft of an email. Sofia was 35 and was one of the most down to earth in the office.

"Hello." The man, who looks like the long lost fourth Tozier sibling, greets." Is it okay if I see Eddie?"

"Mr Kaspbrak is in a meeting right now, sir." Alice responds, confused by someone referring to him as Eddie and not Edward." Do you have an appointment? If not, I can pass on a message."

"Oh, uh...I was just dropping something off for him. He's my brother-in-law and my brother wanted me to give him this with this message." The man begins anxiously, grabbing his phone and starting to read a message from it, presumably for Edward. Alice grabs her notepad to write it down. She looks up at him expectantly, pen in hand, so he begins to read "Dearest Spaghetti, I have gotten the bottles of hand sanitizer you so desperately crave since yours have run out. Love, your husband."

Husband. Edward was gay or bi. Alice blinks at the man in slight shock at this revelation. The man just shyly smiles at her, so she says to take a seat and wait for Mr Kaspbrak to be done with his meeting. The man nods and does as instructed and Alice glances at Sofia again, but she's typing away, unbothered.

Alice only really knew about six people in the office. They were Sofia, age 35, down to earth and easy to talk too. There was Chris, age 54, who could make anyone smile—even Edward. Alex was 24, non-binary and an intern and the person Alice got on the best with in the whole building. Then there was Derek, age 47, who was an asshole. Then of course there were Sharon, age 42, and Edward, age 43. Being one of the youngest, 27, Alice often felt out of place but she was glad for Alex. At home, Alice had nicknames for her co-workers that she'd use with her girlfriend Hazel. They were Nice Sofia, Co-worker Chris, Enby Alex, Asshole Derek, Loud Sharon and big boss Edward. All of these nicknames had been provided by Hazel herself and she had been very proud of them.

"Thank you for coming." Comes Edward's voice. The door opens and the client leaves and Edward waves goodbye before spotting his brother-in-law sat waiting for him." What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Frank?"