Gir

Chapter 1: gir

CW: f-slur and t-slur (can reclaim)

Gir POV:

"Hey Gir?" I asked nervously, looking at Gir who were both sitting in their seats on the spaceship. They both looked back at me simultaneously, "yeah Gir?" They said in unison.

"C-can I ask you a question Gir?" I said to them, fiddling with my fingers. One of Gir said "of course Gir." And the other said "anything Gir." And I smiled, feeling a little more comfortable with this question.

"A-are you g-gay?" I said, gagging. "I mean it's okay if you're- g-gay." I said with more disgust, hoping the answer would be no. I'm not homophobic of course. Gir gave me a look of confusion whilst gir replied, "brother in Gir, my mans Gir is not homophobic."

Gir decided to say something after that, "I_i_iii_iiiio—-iiiii-i-8-i" Gir said, clearly stuttering. I gave a look of suspicion as I spoke, "you didn't answer the question Gir." 

"Yes Gir what're you going to do about it?" One of Gir replied sassily, putting Their hand on their hip. "O-oh.." I replied with more disgust. "Wwwwww-2wawwwAwwww-w-w_weww22]wW@$(1(:?weww__{ well" other Gir started, sounding nervous.

"I have a confession Gir." They said, making me tilt my head in confusion. "You didn't go on a date with Gir this weekend Gir, it was me..Gir." Gir revealed themself, their true self. "What?!" I raised my voice, upset.

"These hips do lie."

"And they lied to you, Gir." I was devistated. Gir stood up and did a little dance while saying, "shakira, shakira." I didn't know what to say. "Wow Gir I- I don't know what to say..." I replied, still shocked.

I watched as other gir pulled out a bag of popcorn from god knows where and started eating it.

"I'm sorry Gir, I know I should've told you sooner." I let out a sigh of relief, "at least you're not gay."

"Oh, no, I am." I backed away slightly, disgusted at my two "friends"

"T-that's okay if you w-wanna do that..." I said with a frown.

Gir seemed angry and walked toward me slightly, I didn't wanna catch the gay disease. "GIR. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE OF MY LIFESTYLE." I stepped back slightly more.

"What the fuck is going on Girs." I heard other Gir say in the back ground, still eating their popcorn. "SHUT UP GAY!" I shouted at Gir, not popcorn Gir obviously. "Girs, Girs, you're both pretty can you stop fighting please." Other Gir spoke again.

"GIR? MORE LIKE GAY!" I laughed uncontrollably at my hilarious joke, holding back tears. I pulled myself together though as I was still in an argument. "I'M DONE PRETENDING TO BE OKAY WITH THIS- THIS CHOICE THAT YOU MADE!" I debated saying this next part but I figured they deserved it, both of Gir.

"YOU- YOU FAGGOT!" (I can reclaim lmao) Gir gasped and stepped back slightly. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GIR!"

"THIS. IS OVER. GOODBYE GIR." I rolled my eyes, "GOODBYE GAY!" I laughed again at my insult, I'm so good at this and obviously right.
"GIR? MORE LIKE GORB! IDIOT!" This time I was the one gasping, I was kinda hurt.

I sighed, deciding this hatred for Gir wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth losing my best friend. "Okay Gir..." I started, knowing this will take a lot of apologies. "I'm sorry..okay?" I said sadly. "No. This is over, gorb." There was that word again, it hurt me.

"Please I- I take it all back! I promise I'll be supportive I promise!" I said desperately. "This has been going on for way too long now." They turned back around, also looking somewhat hurt.

"You know what, gorb? Wanna know something?"

"What?" I asked curiously, still trying to find the right apology.

"Most people find me annoying at first. But you? You didn't!" I was taken aback by Girs words. "I-..." I didn't even know how to start.

"And that felt euphoric, until, it wasn't. And well, I know why you stopped. And you did find me annoying because-" their voice started getting raspy, and I could see tears forming in Girs eyes.

"YouTube sometimes unsubscribes you. And you? You never resubscribed." My eyes widened and filled with sympathy, I did this to Gir. I gasped, not even knowing where to start.

"You just let that big red button down below- stay red." They sounded so hurt, and so angry. I didn't know what to say.

"Gir please!-" I was cut off, "Gir... it's too late." They sniffled and looked down, clenching their fists.

"You never even turned notifications on." I wanted to walk over to them and comfort them but I knew I wasn't wanted.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done, I was so stupid and said so many things I didn't mean but now- I can see the truth! I can be better now! For you!"

"This is over." I watched as a tear slipped down Girs face and I knew what I had done. "Please give me another chance I swear I've changed!"

"No. Goodbye, Gir."

I watched as they shakira-d out of the main room of the spaceship.

"I'll do anything! As long as you're not trans. But otherwise I'll be accepting!" I mumbled that middle bit.

They shakira-d right back into the room after I said that bit and I thought I'd convinced them. "BUT GORB. I AM. I AM." I gasped again. "AND YOU." They stomped toward me and I walked backwards, hitting a wall not long after.

"YOU ARE JUST A LONELY LOW LIFE GOOORB. THAT RIGHT. GORBORB." They sort of started saying nonsense after that and I just stood there.

I watched them shakira out of the room, for the final time....

"I LOVE YOU! PLEASE COME BACK MY LOVE!" They continued shakira-ing until I saw them shakira back. "Actually, Gir, I've come, to forgive you."  My eyes widened with joy and I smiled, "really?!"

"No." They pulled out nine guns and started shooting me, until I was finally dead. I moaned with pleasure and- oops wrong fanfic- "goodbye, gorb."

"You could've had all THIS!" I shook my gorb body seductively, feeling cocky now. "Nah fam your gorb body is gon' start rotting soon."

"Nah fam I wore sunscreen today I'm protected!" I said happily, But then I realized what they had said. "don't body shame."

"#cancelgir" I started typing on twitter, it was immediately trending and everyone was trying to cancel Gir. "Mmmm, what fps though?"

I thought for a moment before I responded, "69" I said confidently. "I only take fps 42069 sorry Gir."

"You know what? I don't need you Gir." I said independently, realizing I didn't need a stupid Gir to complete my life, all I needed was myself.  "I can just be with Gir!" I pointed to Gir who was still sitting down, although they had finished the popcorn.

"I bet Gir doesn't even want to be with you!"

"Yes they do. Cause they're a bottom and need a alpha male such as myself."

"No they don't, no one could want you. Not after this."

"Yeah no Gir you're on your own." Gir said standing up.

"You're all alone gorb." Gir said, and I watched as gir walked over next to them. They were ganging up on me :/

"FINE! I NEVER NEEDED YOU GUYS ANYWAY! YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF TRANNIES (can reclaim) PRETENDING TO BE GIR. BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH."

"SHAKIRA YOUR DEAD BODY OUT OF HERE." Gir said as I spoke, rudely interrupting me.

"YOU'RE NOT GIR! YOU'RE IMPOSTORS!"

"Amog us" Gir said as they threw the popcorn bag on the floor. "FUCK YOU BOTH."

I jumped out of the window dramatically. Leaving those two behind.

You get no explanation got this other than it's meant for arieslighter and spookyboykite , you're welcome.