You had just gotten off of a stressful day at work and just wanted to plop into bed and sleep. You decided to order a Spree and saw that one was only a minute away. The driver was and guy named Kurt. You hit the request pickup button and waited for the car to pull up. The car pulled up and you got in the car sighing. And immediately noticed the unnecessary amount of fucking cameras.
" Are you (name)?"
"You bet, are you Kurt?" You replied
"That's me."
" If you haven't noticed all the cameras yet they are just here for you and my protection along with I'm making a tutorial."
You were confused as to what he meant by a "tutorial"
"Uh, what's the tutorial about?"
You really shouldn't have asked that because as soon as you did he went on a whole tangent.
"It's called #TheLesson and I'm trying to teach people how to do stuff. By the way if you wanna check me out it's Kurt from KurtsWolrd96. Follow for follow?"
You were absolutely stunned to say the least. Who the fuck says "follow for follow" these days? You laughed quietly and grabbed your phone to look him up. He wasn't really popular by any means, a couple followers and some videos. You thought you'd be nice and followed him. He got the notification you followed him and smiled clicking on it and following you back.
"Thanks for the follow," he turns to look at the camera, " See guys that is how you get followers!"
A voice message popped on the screen. " I bet they only followed you because they felt bad for you."
You heard the message and looked at Kurt to see his face drop slightly. In all honesty you kinda felt bad for him. He just seemed like a guy who wanted attention. You moved over to the middle seat and leaned into the front.
"Actually I followed him because he seems like a sweet and pretty chill guy," you paused and looked over finally getting a good look of him..he was cute? He noticed your staring and turned his head slightly to look at you while trying to still keep an eye on the road. Feeling bold out of no where you said, " And cute."
He immediately looked at you out of shock. God this barely any sleep thing must have gotten to your head. You leaned back into your seat. Then another voice message rung out "Kurt gets bitches?"
Kurt immediately reply's in an annoyed yet confident tone " For the record Bobby I get a lot of bitches. "
You laugh and go to open your phone while you wait to get to your house. Suddenly Kurt speaks up "Do you mind if we go pick another guy up?"
You really didn't think you had enough energy for more company but you said yes and continued on your phone while Kurt was talking about god knows what to his cameras. You came to a stop and saw a man walk up and get in the car. " Heyy beautiful. " he winked at you and scootched closer to you as he got in the car. What the hell was the guy on. "Mario, right?" Kurt suddenly chimed in.
"That's me."
Kurt continued to drive. And let's just say.. AGREEING TO HAVE ANOTHER PASSENGER IN THIS RIDE WAS THE WORST DECISION EVER. He wouldn't stop harassing you for your socials and number. You got fed up "Shut the fuck up you inbred piece of shit."
He paused. "Hey no need to act like a bitch!" He yelled.
Kurt slammed on the breaks "HEY! Don't be rude or get out of my car!"
"Get out of your car? I HAVE A FUCKING BITCH WAITING FOR ME. SPEED IT UP."
Kurt turned to his phone "See guys this is a prime example as to how you shouldn't act." While putting up some random ass peace signs.
You just sat there baffled at seeing how low the human race has come. You shoved Mario over so you could get to the middle and jumped into the front passenger's seat. Unable to take anymore of that incels torture. Kurt just looked at you.
"Uh is this alright?" You asked
"Oh yeah totally fin-" he got cut off by another message "Now that she's up closer she's totally hot!"
Kurt looked like he was pondering over the message while you were just sitting there questioning what the hell was happening right now. Your thoughts were broken when you heard Kurt say "She is pretty." While looking over at you.
You sat there looking at him stunned. "Thankyou?"
Another message rang up "You guys are cute together you should totally fuck."
Now that was unexpected. And uncalled for. Kurt just looked at you eyes kinda wide while you were looking at him with your mouth slightly agape.
"Will you dick heads stop your weird ass flirting so this dumbass can focus on getting me to some pussy?!"
You've had enough of that creep. You sighed and turned around to grab one of the conveniently located water bottles and opened it acting like you were gonna drink it. Which for some reason Kurt kinda freaked out and told you not to drink it. You didn't know why but you weren't gonna drink it anyways. You said okay then turned back around and threw it straight in Mario's face, covering him in water.
He sputtered as the water was running down his face. A voice message popped up once again "Yo this girl is kinda badass."
The whole message couldn't be read out by the bot reading it as Mario started coughing violently and screamed "YOU FUCKING BITCH."
Once again Kurt slammed on the breaks. You now for some reason just realizing you were in quite literally the middle of no where. Mario continuing to cough hard. Saying he didn't feel good. "Hey man if your gonna hurl atleast get out of my car!"
" I HAVE SOME DUMB BITCH WAITING FOR ME AND I NEED TO GO FUCK HER RIGHT NOW!" He says slamming on the seat.
"AND I NEED TO KEEP MY CAR CLEAN!" Kurt says as he's hitting the back of your seat.
"So if your gonna hurl get outside and do it! Go!"
"Alright, you know what I gotta take a piss anyway but that's the only reason I'm doing it."
You sit there. What the actual fuck is happening right now. You get off from a hard day at work just wanting to go home and now your dealing with a low life man slut and a wannabe influencer. What has your life come to.? Kurt suddenly turns to you and says " Don't freak out."
What does he mean by that? Suddenly he turns on the gummy bear theme song and turns it up on high volume.
*Oh I'm a gummy bear, yes I'm a gummy bear oh I'm a yummy, tummy, fummy lucky gummy bear. I'm a jelly bear cause I'm a gummy bear. Oh I'm a movin, groovin, jammin singing gummy bear. Oh yeah!*
He then rams the car in reverse and runs over Mario.
You scream "WHAT THE FUCK KURT. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO. OH MY GOD. KURT WHAT THE HELL. THIS CANT BE LEGAL."
HEYYY. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Guys Ik it's cringey shut up. Anyways I'm Lily🤝 ur author. And I'm literally Inlove with Kurt Kunkle. Anyways chapter 2 coming out soon cause this was fun to write.
7-13-22
