You're The Reason

Chapter 1

Authors Note

So I've really enjoyed the latest season so far & it's reignited my love for this franchise. This is a re-write/re-imagined fanfic from a few years ago about my OC Josey Kowalski, her Grandfather Walt & their elderly golden Labrador, Farrah. This fanfic is going to be written in a new format than my previous chronological fics, where Josey's story will be told in the shows current events (S11) & also explored in flashbacks. This way the important and relevant moments are featured than re-telling the entire show from season 5 onwards which (lets face it) was so long ago now. As this is set in an AU - note Judith doesn't exist in this verse & the period of time that has passed since Rick's 'death' is 5 years.

Chapter 1

Commonwealth - Present Day

Park Square was heaving with people.

Some young teens were chasing each other around the ice cream truck with water pistols and Josey Kowalski flinched as one nearly ran into her.

"Hey, watch where you're goin' - " Daryl Dixon shouted as they ran off. " - you alright?" he turned to Josey, his scarred fingers encircling her wrist.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine - it's just hard - getting used to all of this."

A young man walked by with his toddler dressed like the Easter Bunny. There were tables setup with little kids sat with smiling parents watching as someone painted their face like a tiger or a butterfly. Pony rides. Families. Couples. She caught herself looking at Daryl in his weathered waistcoat over his denim shirt, his skin partially burnt by the sun, the puffiness under his eyes due to the lack of sleep, his lank brown hair sticking to his head and obscuring his face. He squinted at her, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip as he always did when he was thinking or when he wanted to say something but couldn't.

" - you uh - you look - " he muttered, casting a quick glance over at the floral dress she was wearing matched with white cowboy boots, her blonde hair smooth and freshly cut just above her shoulders. " - you know."

Josey felt a little bit embarrassed as she lowered her gaze. It was his way of giving her a compliment. He didn't do it often but when he did, it was sweet but a little awkward... it was still very new... and it was a big adjustment for both of them.

"We should find Carol, it's nearly twelve" Josey said as she glanced up at the town's clock and started to move when she felt Daryl's hand crush over hers tightly. He gave her a small closed mouthed smile as her eyes met his and she tried to ignore the pang in her stomach as she thought of Rick Grimes.

Alexandria - 7 Years Ago

Take me back to the night we met...

Blood. There was blood all over her. The army switch blade in her grasp that belonged to her Grandfather Walt was strictly prohibited under Deanna's rule. The rotter was lying face down in the flowerbeds, its spine visible through the flaps of mottled skin. The sight turned her stomach and the smell hit her in the back of the throat. Josey wretched as she crouched down on the sidewalk, half aware of the small crowd that had begun to form around her and the rotter. Horrified and frightened cries rippled through some of Alexandria's residents. Picket fences and reanimated corpses. Hardly the dream right?

"Alright, alright! Show's over folks. Go back to your homes" Rick Grimes tried to disperse the crowd. "Someone will let you know when it's safe."

"Safe! You've got to be kidding me!"

"How in hell did that thing get in!"

"The gate was left open. It won't happen again. We'll do a sweep to make sure but everyone please go straight home and lock your doors" ordered Rick, spying the blade and the muscles in his jaw twitched. Deanna had already warned him about the Kowalski's and she had really laid the dislike on thick. He took a couple of steps forward, noting the walkers blood had stained Josey's long blonde hair as she continued to dry heave into the flowers. "Josey - do me a favor and give me the knife. I won't mention this to Deanna - " Rick said in a hushed tone, glancing around him for anyone that could be watching them.

" - you know - you were far more intimidating with the beard" Josey remarked in between continuing to dry heave and Rick stood with his hands on his hips, his head cocked to the side slightly, chewing on the inside of his cheek, a smirk quirking at his lips.

"I've always liked the film Carrie but it's not a good look on you" he clapped back as she got to her feet, one hand clasped over her mouth as if to fight the urge to barf again. She shot him a dirty look and wiped the blade clean against her marked denim jacket, reluctantly handed the weapon over. "See, that wasn't hard" Rick folded the blade into his pocket.

"Those people would be dead if it hadn't been for me" Josey argued.

"Maybe - " Rick moved his head to the side as he studied her. " - maybe not but take a piece of advice and, stop giving Deanna reasons to kick you and your old man out. From what I heard, a few months ago they found a rifle under your floorboards - "

"That was my Pappy's rifle. They had no right to take it - "

"Even so, you need to respect Deanna's rules if you want to stay here. I won't always be around to intervene."

Commonwealth - Present Day

The flowers were wilting. Some of the stems were bent. Gabriel must have picked them from the church yard on his way here. Josey twisted a strand of hair, her mind wandering thinking about the time she'd threatened to cut all it off and Rick had snatched the scissors out of her hand before holding her broken self on the floor as she wept. Gabriel's leg was anxiously bouncing up and down, the erratic movement bringing her back into the present and he glanced at her, an uncomfortable closed smile plastered on his face, his hands clasped together tightly as he waited for Rosita.

"Coffee or the Charlton Heston double feature again?" Josey asked bluntly.

" - what?" Gabriel asked her just as there was a rap at the front door.

"That will be Daryl" Rosita emerged from the bedroom, one hand readjusting her earring. "Babe, can you get the door?"

"What - Daryl's here?" Josey asked as the couch dipped as Gabriel rose to stand and Rosita flashed her a nervous smile

"Hey man" Daryl slapped a hand on Gabriel's shoulder before his eyes locked on Josey.

"I've put Coco to bed, I don't think she'll be up for the rest of the night. She was pretty zonked from today" Rosita explained as she wrapped her over-sized cardigan around her slender frame. "I hope you don't mind Jo, I invited Daryl to keep you company."

"No, it's fine. I'll look in on Coco in a bit, you guys enjoy Heston" Josey said in a monotone as she crossed the room and cracked the window open. Rosita watched as she climbed out onto the fire escape, her heart sinking a little.

" - thanks for coming, Daryl -" Rosita lowered her voice. "I uh - I think she's starting to slip again - so if she's a bit off, don't take it personally alright?"

"I got you. I'll be here, don't worry, you guys go" Daryl forced a tight smile

Josey had started smoking again. Something she hadn't done in ages. She was paranoid people were staring at her arm. Isolating herself. Of course she'd say she was fine. She always did. Daryl just hoped she wouldn't spiral like she did the weeks and months after Rick died. He'd lost count of how many times he'd talked her down from hurting herself back in those days. Sleeping on the bedroom floor just to make sure she didn't kill herself during the night. To see a person crumble like that, it stayed with you.

"You want one?" Josey asked, offering up a cigarette as Daryl appeared at the window.

"Nah, I'm good" he said, trying to keep a passive expression on his face. "You mind if I sit?" he gestured to the empty space beside her on the steps.

"Just as long as you don't ask me to make a wish" she took a long drag and Daryl frowned at the strange remark as he climbed out onto the platform. There wasn't much space as he squeezed beside her and as soon as their shoulders brushed side by side, she tried to inch away.

"Hey" Daryl threw an arm around Josey and pulled her close.

Hey. It was one word yet meant so much. It was his way of telling her it's okay. For all sorts of reasons.

"Hey" she whispered back. There she was. His Josey.