A small Woman against the vast world

Its just the begining

A Small Woman Against the Vast World

I'm Kayla. I like to call myself a minion. Why you ask? Because i'm short and I prefer to not be called short. Every day of my life, i'm called short. Don't ask about my struggles at work, because the struggles are real. I've got a lot in my head right now, and I would love to share my life with you. Now, i'm an average person. I call myself average, because i believe no one is perfect. If perfect existed... well than I  guess thats me, but it doesn't. My life is pretty damn eventful. I guess ill leave dates out, its pretty hard to remember exact dates, I vaguely remember the years. My eventful life, is a mixed up time for me. You will understand as soon as I get started. I will be writing about my previous years as well as my current days at which I am living. I'm not writing this for you, i'm writing this for me, and hope one day that i'll learn from the hardships of not being an adult, until i become one myself. This story of me, will not be in order of what goes on, so try to keep up.Once again, I'm Kayla. I'm not whore, slut, gay, lesbian, black, white, green, and even stupid, so don't you dare ever call me that. I'm 17! I'll be 18 on June 27, 2015. It is currently April 27, 2015. So close, yet so far. The time, is not to be worried about, it is quite late, but i can't sleep. I can never sleep as much as I used to. I can't wait for adulthood. I'll have a more steady job, a car, a home, and kids I will take care of with my dear husband Kevin Thompson. No, I am not married, you must be crazy for thinking that. But like you, I hope, I am thinking ahead in my life.I'm a senior in highschool. I work at Mcdonalds and have been currently working here since December of 2013. I'm pretty bad at dates, so i'm happy to see that my Facebook still works. Facebook and timehop are pretty much my "calendar." I wonder if in the near future i'll switch over to tweeter  (Twitter). Anyways I must stay on track. This is extremely important for me to tell you about my life. Its 9:22 am, April 27, 2015. I am currently sitting in my third period English class. I cried a little today.  I've been accused of cheating and called a liar.  It is not the first time that this had happened.  My last period class I had gotten a test back, with an 86% on it.  That's pretty good right?  My teacher did not see my other two answers, because he couldn't "find" them. I realized this mid-way through his lecture so i couldn't interrupt him.  I tell him about it afterwards and he thought I wrote it during the lecture, then walked away. I told him he can kill me and I swear on my life I wasn't lying.  He still didn't believe me, but re graded my test anyway. I don't understand why half my teachers this year think I am a cheating liar. January 6, 2015. This date is important to me. That was the day Kevin Thompson and I started dating. Something was different about this man, but i couldn't put my finger on it... ever. Anyways, the first day we met, a few days before the sixth, he knew of me liking his best friend. I work with his best friend, Chris. Chris and I shared some stories about life, and how his parents left him, and his girlfriend is a whore. Shit like that. Well, when i first met Kevin; Chris, a "friend" named Valerie, Kevin and I all hung out at the mall, because we were bored. So we all met, and went to club 360 afterwards, then taco bell! Because who doesn't love a good taco? After Taco bell, we walked up to mcdonalds, because my best friend was working. Rachel, is the nicest, sweetest, bitchiest, sassiest, girl you will ever meet. So many descriptions fit her profile, but I won't bore you with the little stuff. After mcdonalds, Chris.. who I had no idea liked Valerie, started kissing. Well this made it awkward for me and kinda sad. I really liked Chris, but like every guy, i'm not good enough for them. I walked back to the car afterwards... and i sat there waiting for my "friend." When Chris and Valerie said their goodbyes, they hugged. Kevin walked over to me, and asked why I didn't say bye. Well quite frankly because i was really upset and didn't want to deal with that. I never told him that. But i got out of the car, and he just picked me up, swung me around, and held me so tight... the hug felt like it lasted forever.My boyfriend and I are still dating. I still remember the day he asked me out. We were watching the stupidest movie at the movie theatre, Woman in Black Two. We were so bored. He held my hand... his touch gave me butterflies. Until this day, he still gives me butterflies. During the movie, he pulled me in closer to him and he whispered in my ear. He whispered: "Will you be my girlfriend?" I was happy... and i wasn't expecting the ask so quickly. I said yes, because how could i turn down this man who spun me around in a circle while hugging me tight when i was sad? He was the man i knew i could tell everything too, and be myself around. Its been three months. Kevin told me some secrets that i didn't know about until a month in the relationship. He told me he had never gotten his GED. He even tried going back to school, but i have no idea where he was going with that. He hasn't caught up with his "school" work, and i'm still wondering when he is going back to school.  I want him to go to tri C and get his associates degree, but i feel like school isn't his thing. I hate school, not because of the learning, but because of the people. I'm still going to attend tri C. Previously, we got Kevin a job, at Mcdonalds with Chris and I. Well, he quit because it was too far from him. He said, it didn't matter if he had that job or not, because making minimum wage isn't important enough to care about. I've been working here for a year and a half and it kind of hurt me a little. I want Kevin to succeed, but he doesn't have the work ethic to do so. Sometimes I feel like, if we have kids, he won't have money to help support our kids. This all makes me wonder, am i wasting my time, or am i waiting for him to try? I love him. Love carries feelings so far, that no one can imagine a life without love. I've never been in love until i met him, but i don't think he feels the same.I try to make Kevin so happy. I work my ass off for him, and i don't think he understands how much i miss him and care for him. Kevin just went to Florida for 10 days. He just came home this morning and i was supposed to see him. He told me he would ask his mom to come get me, that never happened. Instead he is with his friend, Justin. He spends more time with him than me. Bros before hoes? I agree with that term, but if i haven't seen someone in more than two weeks, then i would put aside what i'm doing just to be with him. There is a difference. I miss him so much, and he won't even message me, or call me, or skype me. On top of that, everytime we hang out, he wants to have sex. It makes me so upset that i feel like our relationship is just based on sex. I lost my virginity to him. When we have sex, he doesn't always like to use a condom either, but it sucks even worse because i'm not even on birth control. I just told him today that i'll buy all the condoms, i'm just not having sex with him until i go on birth control. I'll be on birth control in a month. He was still upset with this and told me i had nothing to worry about. I'm not ready for kids, and i'm not ready to make a mistake. He tells me he knows what he is doing, but in reality he has no clue. I'm done taking chances, my life is a shit hole anyways. I'm not responsible enough to have a child. I feel useless to him, just like i feel useless to everyone else. I hope this relationship isn't a dead end.Another thing that might be a dead end, is my job. Working at Mcdonalds is not all that great. It's just another high school, full of drama, bitches, and spoiled little Strongsville brats.  I don't think that many people my age, has any work ethics at all. I hate working at a place where no one does the job, and people treat others like shit. I get so annoyed with people at work, because they don't work! Every time i am working people are standing around and talking. Customers come first, but clearly not. Clearly their conversations and phones come first. I feel like everytime i'm working, i'm a bossy little bitch because i yell at those who don't do anything. On top of all that, i get told that i have an attitude problem. I really don't have an attitude problem, i more joke about everything and am extremely sassy. If you do something to piss me off though, that is a different story and i will flip out on you. Don't try to test me. I also would love to know, when am i becoming a manager? I work harder than most of the managers, yet i can't be one? Will i be one when im 18? Nope, i have no hope.  I guess i will have to just continue working my ass off for nothing until then. When i'm 18 i hope to be a security guard, instead of a Mcdonalds worker.I am a Criminal Justice student at Polaris Career Center. I've been attending Criminal justice for just about two years now. I'm certified in 911 dispatching, pepper spray, first aid and cpr, and OPOTA. When i turn 18, i can use everything. All i want to do in life is protect people and save lives. I hate the world how it is, with the killings and robberies that goes on. Today marks the third day of the Baltimore, Maryland riots, April 29, 2015. These riots consist of having over 250 rioters, on top of that the majority of them are high school students! Clearly these "kids" did not grow up into a good community. They were burning down nursing homes, and burning CVS stores, throwing trash cans on the witnesses. It's bad when the police need to call in the national guard for these little stunts these "hard ass" kids are doing. All people do now is pull the race card. "Oh, im black? Why don't you just shoot me so it can be on the news for everyone to say you're racist!" Perfect? no. People need to stop bringing color into this. We are all human, we are all equal, and everyone in the world needs to know we are all the same inside. Pink and gross.  I just want the world to be a peaceful environment.  I can't wait to one day, serve and protect for my country. In the cities i grew up in. No one should be treated terribly, and bullied to death. I want the job to protect those in need, and to make sure that people have the freedom that they deserve, All my life i've wanted to believe that people are good. Not everyone is good, whether you are white, hispanic, black, or asian. We are all good, we are all bad, equally.