Approach of the Dawn -

Ch.1 Sitting At Dawn -

On mornings like this when I haven't slept all night and I get to witness the dawn, these are the moments I truly feel myself. When my music is just loud enough to be heard over the thunder of the shower and I actually feel well enough to wash my face and brush my teeth. The mornings when depressions grip is loosened. 

I realized a while back I was just the trailer park sorta pretty and I found I was just alright with that. I'm learning to love myself slowly and find a home within my own body as I unlearn the damage done by peers and parents. One mornings like this I feel the most at home in my soul. 

With my hair wrapped up in a towel and writing at the kitchen counter. I know my peace will be broken soon because I still live at home, but while I have it I will make the most of it. Loving myself has become its own form of rebelion. 

Left on my own I find myself trying things I normally hate such as toast and oatmeal, or oatmeal cookies. The funny thing is oatmeal still makes me gag but the cookies don't and by golly I don't know why I have no issue trying things while on my own. 

Maybe its the serenity of being alone, or the lifting of preasure from peers to try things that upset my senses. But all I know for sure is on morinings like this I feel unafraid to try and dislike, dance, sing and just simply be in the simplicity of it all. 

I know I have my moments of being slow and dumb and just plain stupid but when I'm alone in the serenity of early morning by my own choice of being up I have no issue cleaning. Clean enough to be tidy but still messy enough to be unique and lived in. If cluttercore was a place i'd most likely be nominated preident, or atleast mayor. Every surface is covered in knickknacks and pictures, nor a bare piece of wall. 

On mornings like this when I haven't slept all night and I get to witness the dawn, these are the moments I truly feel myself. When my music is just loud enough to be heard over the thunder of the shower and I actually feel well enough to wash my face and brush my teeth. The mornings when depressions grip is loosened. On mornings like this I feel so authentically and unapologetically me.