Years of goodbyesBy: A.C.Norambuena

Chapter 20

There was I, again in that horrible dream, know I did not even tried to go after my grandpa, I just sat there waiting for the dream to end, but this time it did not end, and it keep repeating, one time after another, after another, and then I got tired I decided to get up and walk up to a really tall building, when I found one I went up to the ruff and just stood there, and waited I do not know what I was waiting for, maybe someone who would come save me, but no one came so I jump off, and when I was about to hit the ground I woke up.

After that I would find a way to die or hurt myself in my dreams, just so I would not have to see my grandpa die, I could not handle to see him die one more time, so I thought it will be better if I die, I only thought about that in my dream, I mean my grandpa was alive so I didn't have to worry about anything.

I never told anyone about the dreams, but for some reason my counselor call me over and says she wanted to talk about my dreams and thoughts, of course I just lied, I acted like I did not understand why she was asking me this questions, so she gave up and let me go back to class, after that all of my teachers started to worry too much about me, of course I did not care, I was already a pro at acting like I was fine, so they all told my counselor that I was healthy and happy, and after that she did not talk to me about that again.

But my friends started to worry, some of them saw the scratches on my arms, and talk to me about it, all they basically said was "Hey don't do that, are you trying to kill yourserlf or what" I don't get why people think that just because someone hurts themself or has depression they are suicidal, they might be but sometimes there not, sometimes when people hurt themself its just because it the only way to express themselves, but some people don't know that so they just say all of the shit that cames up to there mind. But it does not matter, cause I'm fine now, right?